A night at the movies: Attack of the Clones

11/5/09 Two Medical Droid action figures, given away

Another lost cause on eBay, but I figured out another potential loving home for these two. At least until the little Padawan dudes who live there rip their arms off. And trust me, they probably will. Whatever the Droids' fate, they were mailed off across the country today to two energetic Star Wars fans, who have properly broken from their mother's misguided belief that the Lord of the Rings trilogy is the better saga.

As Randal says in Clerks II, "There's only one Return, and it's of the Jedi, not the King!"

Neither of which is...

tonight's film:

Star Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Order in which it should be watched: Fourth

Why: Now we're rolling along chronologically. We've had a bit of insight into Darth Vader's pod-racing childhood and the complex politics of interstellar republics. Time to see young Vader's growth as a Jedi and find out about forbidden love. Oh, la, la. (Plus, if you watch this movie second, rather than fourth, you totally miss the shocking brilliance of Yoda's lightsaber battle. You need to sit through three movies of him limping around before you can properly appreciate his transformation into SuperFrog.)

Most memorable line: Jango Fett: "I'm just a simply guy trying to make my way in the universe."

Coolest moment: Holy crap! Yoda can fight?!? (Honorable mention: Holy crap! R2-D2 can fly?!?)

Funniest moment: Some punk offers Obi-Wan a cigarette and he mind-tricks the guy into going home and reconsidering his life.

Best character: Gotta give it to Padme Amidala. These flicks are so male-heavy, she gets credit for not just showing up, but jumping into the fight.

Thing that bothers me: In every movie, someone lands randomly on an unknown planet, and ends up within walking distance of whoever they need to find. All these planets must be about the size of Toledo.

Who loses their arm/hand: Zam Wesell, who gets it cut off by Obi-Wan. (This is the second time Obi-Wan cuts off someone's arm in a bar. Perhaps he has a drinking problem.) Anakin also loses his hand, courtesy of a Sith Lord. Like son, like father.

Who says, "I've got a bad feeling about this": Anakin, in the arena, before showing Russell Crowe how a real gladiator gets it done.

What the film teaches us: The heart overrules the brain.

Final thought: Absolutely the most fun of the six movies. One great fight after another, a well-balanced ensemble cast, and a fast-moving pace. I got to see it (on my second viewing) in a huge IMAX theater in New York City. Wow, that was a ride.