Trick or Treat!

10/31/09 Three Star Wars Taco Bell promotional toys, given away

Joanna LOVES Halloween. She loves the decorating, she loves the costumes, and she especially loves trick-or-treaters.

Since we live on a dead-end dirt road, we generally get very few trick-or-treaters. Approximately zero.

To satisfy Joanna's need to see small children dressed up like freaks, monsters, and degenerates (as well as costumes other than Michael Jackson), we headed over to her teaching partner's house in Gorham. No shortage of kids over there. People drive from all over the area to Dan's neighborhood just for the Halloween experience. It's a madhouse in every sense of the word.

While Dan and his daughters (a witch and Dracula) went out to pillage the neighborhood, Joanna and I sat on their front porch and divvied out goodies. Given the number of pretzel packs we handed out -- don't worry, each kid also got a candy bar -- we saw at least 230 kids in a little over an hour and a half.

Most popular costume: vampire. Best costume: Harley Quinn -- I was told I was the only adult who recognized the character. I get geek points for knowing obscure comic book characters.

Since I cleaned out my parent's attic this summer, I've been wondering what to do with three random Star Wars knick-knacks I discovered. They were actually prizes in Taco Bell meals that were given to me a decade ago by friends, but I couldn't bring myself to throw them away.

In a flash of holiday-inspired genius, I decided to give them away to the first three kids that came dressed as Star Wars characters. What a good idea. The three kids -- Darth Vader, a Clone Trooper, and an X-Wing Pilot -- all freaked out when I handed them the toys. You'd have thought that I'd given them autographed Darth Vader helmets or working lightsabers.

It made me think how cool it would be to give away actual vintage action figures. I certainly have enough.

I'm not ready to take that kind of a downsizing leap yet, but who knows... perhaps next Halloween, we'll have the most popular house in town.

Strange frequency

10/31/09 UHF antenna, trashed

Here are a few questions to ponder:

Why do I have a UHF antenna?

What is a UHF antenna supposed to do?

What the heck is UHF?

Has anyone under the age of fifty ever experienced UHF or the wonders it surely provided to previous generations?

I have some vague recollection of a Weird Al Yankovic movie with that title -- Oh wow, I was right! -- but that's pretty much the only UHF connection I can think of.

And the big question: Can I live without UHF, or its antenna? I shall find out tomorrow, as I embark on my new, UHF-free life.

Automatic

10/29/09 Bag of gourmet hot chocolate mix, given away

I had a bit of a breakthrough today: I downsize without thinking.

It was a completely automatic, natural act, done without hesitation or concern for personal safety. Much the way you might dive into a rushing river to save a child. Yeah, just like that.

We had parent/teacher conferences at school today, so I brewed up a pot of afternoon java for any staff members who needed a pick-me-up. As I started the coffee maker, my colleague Roni -- who ALWAYS has something to say about whatever I'm doing -- piped up.

"So, where's my hot chocolate, huh, Reed?" she asked, as she has just about every time I've made coffee. Roni doesn't drink coffee.

"Ah-ha!" I shouted and snatched an unopened package of really fancy hot chocolate mix off of the top of my shelf. "Here you go, Roni."

I'm not sure who gave me the mix (Thank you, whoever you are!) but I've had it since last winter in my office. It was quite dusty.

The mix was already in Roni's hands before I realized what I'd done.

"Hey, that totally counts as a downsize!" I yelled. And it did. Way to go, me!

As for you, Roni, enjoy the cocoa. But no more smart comments about my coffee.

I'm sympathetic

10/28/09 Two pairs of pants, donated to Goodwill

Apparently, my body thinks I'm pregnant, too.

It's called sympathetic pregnancy, it's real, and it's shocking. Wife gets pregnant, husband shows the same symptoms.

I Googled it -- that's how we find stuff out in 2009, right? -- and can now cite dozens of reputable sources that prove sympathetic pregnancy is legitimate (although the scientists like to get technical and refer to is as Couvade Syndrome).

I'll defer to the BBC, which is pretty much the least-sensational news organization in history. According to the Brits, "Expectant fathers reported a range of symptoms, including cramps, back pain, mood swings, food cravings, morning sickness, fatigue, depression, fainting, insomnia and toothache."

Whew, it's a miracle that I even made it to work today.

Which symptom am I suffering from?

Excessive weight gain in the stomach region. I blame the kid.

Joanna and I went to the doctor today for a check up. Shockingly, Dr. Wilberg was completely focused on Joanna and the critter. Joanna's blood pressure was normal and the little one's heartbeat was spot-on. Joanna even got the Swine Flu vaccine, which is akin to winning the lottery right now.

What about me? I got a handshake.

Without the aid of the medical community I am forced to take matters into my own hands, in the only way I know how. I'm going to get rid of stuff. Specifically, perfectly good pants that no longer fit me.

On the way back from the doctor's office, I swung into a Portland Goodwill donation center and dropped off some trousers. I hope whoever ends up with them isn't planning on having kids, or they won't fit for long...

Heart-shaped trust

10/27/09 Waffle maker, given away on Freecycle.org

Here's a wonderful thing:

Despite all the craziness in the world and the constant bombardment of messages from all angles that we are headed to hell in a handbasket (a phrase that deserves more use), today's downsize reminds me that there's still trust and honesty in my life.

After vainly trying to sell this old waffle maker on craigslist, I decided to offer it up for free on Freecycle (a site which I will discuss in future posts, no doubt). Quite quickly I had two separate grandmothers emailing me, saying that they'd love to have it to make waffles for their grandchildren.

It should be noted that this is no ordinary waffle maker. It lovingly crafts breakfast delights in the shape of little hearts. How I ever ended up with it is anyone's guess, but it was something I used a fair amount in my old bachelor days.

My best memory (Do YOU have waffle maker memories?) comes from when I was teaching at Future Leaders Institute in Harlem. Each Friday a different staff member would bring in a few breakfast goodies for the teacher's room. The tradition escalated to the point that I once offered a full waffle bar (heart-shaped waffles, no less), complete with berries, whipped cream, and powdered sugar. I think I needed Ernie to cover my class for the first twenty minutes of the day because I was still taking orders. Kindergarteners smindergarteners -- I have waffles to make!

I shall keep such memories forever, but I can let go of the waffle maker.

Gram Joanna (not to be confused with my wife, Pregnant Joanna) saw my Freecycle post and emailed, "My grandkids would love making waffles with me. I would love to have it!" Can't say no to that.

Gram Joanna was going to be in the area today, but I had to be at work. No problem. I gave her my address and directions and left the waffle maker outside my front door.

I live in a place where I feel comfortable leaving something on my porch. No worries about anyone taking it. And, I feel fine giving a complete stranger my address and then telling her when I won't be home. I don't take such things for granted. Most people, in most places in the world couldn't or wouldn't do those things.

But, we can't spend every minute convinced everyone else is out to get us. Or at least I can't. Gram Joanna came to our empty house and got the waffle maker. Nobody snuck out of the woods before her to steal the machine, and she refrained from breaking in and robbing us blind.

Score two for humanity.

Enjoy the waffles, and remember: berries, whipped cream, and powdered sugar are a must.

Two of a kind

10/26/09 Comfy chair, sold on craigslist for $30

Today, we sold the other chair. The first one was downsized last week, as chronicled here. This one was probably in a little better shape. While the first chair lived by the front door and was Trane's primary lookout spot, this one sat in our upstairs loft, and was only used by Bird. Since we kept it covered with an old Winnie the Pooh sleeping bag (should I downsize that?), it didn't get quite as covered with kitty hair and had slightly less cat-scratch damage on the arms.

I love it when an entire family comes to get an item, as happened tonight. Rebecca arrived in the minivan with her three kids. Her husband followed right behind in his plumbing van. I was already partial to this family since Rebecca had commented on my Star Wars-themed email address. And when I pointed out the cat scratches on the chair, she turned to her young daughter and asked her if she thought their cat would enjoy scratching it, too.

Yep, these folks were right up my alley.

We had a pleasant conversation about children -- a topic I bring up a lot now that I have one on the way -- and then they were off. And so was the blue comfy chair, to a new, loving home.

By the way, Rebecca, if you are reading this: The throw-pillow pictured below was supposed to be part of the deal. Let me know if you want it and we'll figure out a way to get it to you. Enjoy the chair!

Size: 0-3 months

10/25/09 Old pair of pants and old pair of shorts, trashed

We did not go over to my parents' house yesterday solely to share ethically questionable beef. We also went over to look through box after box of baby clothes, in anticipation of the arrival of our little critter. Since my sister's son is now three years old and another family friend's child is the same age, my mother has stockpiled a huge number of newborn clothes.

We consider ourselves tremendously lucky to have all of these onesies, hats, minuscule socks, and the like dropped, literally, in our laps. We had quite a time going through the boxes labeled "0-6 months," with Katie and mom dispensing advice that helped us not-yet-parents make good choices. We returned home with a huge bin of clothes.

Note to anyone thinking about giving us baby clothes: unless it has a Patriots or Celtics logo on it, we probably don't need it. (We do need sports-related outfits. Desperately.)

Now that we have all of this stuff, we need to find space for it. I'm convinced we can use our existing dressers if we clean out the things we don't wear or don't need. Yes, this calls for downsizing!

My small step today was to trash two items that were torn up and absolutely unwearable anywhere except my own back yard. It's not easy to throw away pants or shorts, even when they are badly torn, since it's still possible to wear them, as I detailed in one of my early posts. In going through my drawers, however, I noted that I have at least four other pairs of work pants and several pairs of shorts (all of which are out of commission until next summer, anyway).

So, though it may only represent small progress, I have two fewer items in my dresser now. There's more to be done, surely, but it's a start.

Plus, downsizing one pair of pants actually makes room for about ten pair of newborn pants. Have you seen the microscopic size of those things? It's shocking. Babies must be really small.

Beef up

10/24/09 Hamburgers, hot dogs, and buns, consumed; Travel mug, given away

You need to know where your beef comes from. Once you know, you can make any decision you want. Joanna and I sometimes make different decisions.

Joanna wants only local, grass-fed beef, like the meat we bought this afternoon at Little Alaska Farm. Quite a wonderful place, actually. Like most local farm markets, the prices are higher, but the cows are happy, and the beef is healthy.

In contrast, later this afternoon I downed a CAFO (Concentrated Animal Feed Operation) burger. What's CAFO beef? If you don't know, you should, since your tax dollars are at work paying for the corn that feeds them. The picture isn't pretty: huge feed lots where cows wander around in their own waste, feasting on antibiotics which keep the corn they are fed from killing them too quickly. Makes you want to head to McDonald's, huh? (To check out my previous rant against corn, click here.)

Still, even with more than a few horrid images running around in my mind, I do occasionally buy and eat a little CAFO beef. Sure, my personal health and the health of our planet is important to me, but they're sometimes not as important as saving a few bucks.

We went over to my folks' house today and brought along burgers, hot dogs, and buns that we'd had since our Autumnal Equinox Benefit Barbecue. I'd bought the food at Walmart (If there's one thing you can count on, it's that any meat bought at Walmart is pure, 100% CAFO!) and we'd frozen the uncooked leftovers right after the cookout. Since Joanna's standards are a bit higher than mine, the meat was likely to remain in our freezer forever.

Those burgers and dogs tasted pretty good, and we had a delightful lunch. Dad grills a mean burger, and any meal shared with my family is a great one. Plus, now when Joanna opens our freezer, she doesn't need to say to herself, "When is Reed going to eat those dang hamburgers?"

By the way, if any of you Dear Readers protest that this food does not count as a legitimate downsize, we also gave Mom a travel mug that I missed in a previous purge. That definitely counts.

Now I need to sign off... my stomach feels a bit upset...

Road trip

10/23/09 A Mind at a Time audio book, given away

Even though I am the only Literacy Coach at my school, I am incredibly fortunate to have five coaching colleagues within my school district. Several times a year, we attend literacy conferences at the University of Maine, 150 miles from Oxford Hills. We're public school employees. We carpool.

These communal trips are a powerful professional development opportunity for me, one that often rivals the high-quality sessions at the University. Five hours of drive-time leads to intense, thought-provoking discussions. These ladies are so smart, I can't help but learn all the way up and down the Maine Turnpike.

Today, Natalie offered to chauffeur Mary and me up to the event. Usually we may have as many as five of us in one car, but on this occasion, for various reasons, we were rather fractured. Regardless, with just the three of us, the "Natmobile" was filled with meaty debate and professional exchanges. My head was swimming. As Lester Laminack (today's conference speaker) would certainly say, "You go, girls!"

I headed to Orono with the intention of donating my copy of Mel Levine's A Mind at a Time to the professional library of The Maine Literacy Partnership. (I could write ten blog posts about it, but the short version is that The Maine Literacy Partnership is the Literacy Coaching brain trust and training organization. It rocks.)

On the ride up, I mentioned my idea of giving away the audio book. Mary -- consummate professional that she is -- jumped at the chance to listen to it first. That's what I love about these ladies. They are determined to be lifelong learners, great at what they do, ready to go above and beyond to support students and teachers.

When Mary is done with it, she'll pass it on, perhaps to the Maine Literacy Partnership. In the meantime, she'll grow from listening to it.

Just as I grow from listening to her. Whew, what a way to end the workweek.

Love it, then let it go

10/22/09 Comfy chair, sold on craigslist for $30; Star Wars model kit, sold on eBay for $1.04

I've been savoring the unexpected sweetness of letting things go. By getting rid of something, I gain a new appreciation for it and, for a few moments at least, think more deeply about it than I probably ever have.

Take this authentic scale model of Darth Vader's Tie Fighter. I was never into models as a kid, but someone gave this to me, anyway. At the impulsive age of seven, I took about half the parts out of the package, threw some black paint on the Darth Vader figurine -- the picture's blurry, but trust me, it's a horrendous paint job -- and then put it all back in the box for thirty years. Not exactly a cherished possession.

And yet, today, as I mailed it off to Birmingham, Alabama, I considered what a great model it is. It would be pretty neat to carefully build it and, if done right, would look very cool. I don't have any desire to put it together, but I actually got more joy out of realizing that someone will appreciate it's value than I ever got from owning it. Hey, Mark, once it's done, send pictures.

Even better, it turns out that I'm not the only one taking a final moment to cherish something that's headed out the door.

When Joanna arrived home today, she saw something we NEVER see: our two cats sleeping together in one spot. The cats get along fine and often hang out near each other. But, in their six and a half years of life, I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen their bodies touch as they sleep. And I'd have a few fingers left over. (For more on Bird & Trane, check out this earlier post.)

When Joanna walked through the door, she was so shocked to see them pressed up against each other that she snapped the photo above.

What Joanna didn't know, but the cats could apparently intuit, was that within an hour the chair they were sharing would be gone. We'd decided to downsize it for two reasons: 1) we virtually never sat in it, and 2) the cats had scratched it up pretty badly. Because it was scratched up, we'd relegated it to the mud room, where it just served as a place to sit when I put on my boots.

However, the cats used it all the time. When they weren't scratching it, they were sitting on the back of it, looking out the window. Trane, in particular, loved that chair. Four days out of five, I'd see him sitting on the back of it waiting for me as I approached the front door.

I don't have any worries about the cats missing their chair. They embraced their opportunity to enjoy its final moments with us. Be thankful for what you had, and be glad it's gone to a better place. That's the true spirit of downsizing.

Coolman

10/21/09 Coleman lantern (and gas), given away

I've had this lantern for a few years. I've never used it. Honestly, I'm not even sure where it came from. Probably a good sign that it was eligible for downsizing.

I put it up on the free section of craigslist. I was quickly contacted by a guy named Mark, who came by to get it this evening.

Due to health issues, Mark had to give up his independent contracting business, but he hasn't lost his sense of humor. We stood in my yard for twenty minutes while he cracked me up with funny stories.

Plus, we have this from the "It's a small world" department: Mark's brother lives on the next road over from me. In fact, we share a property line. That was a fortunate coincidence, since Mark forgot my address at home and had to find his way to my place on instinct. Hey, it worked.

I appreciate people with good instincts.

Down the toilet

10/20/09 Fifty-nine home improvement receipts (and a few other things), recycled

Yes, those are more corks. We'll get to that in a moment...

Six years of home ownership have turned me into Mr. Do-It-Yourself. Our biggest project was completely renovating both of our bathrooms. When we moved in, Joanna didn't like the colors in the bathrooms or the bizzaro space-pod shower.

I didn't like the fact that when you flushed the toilet, not a heck of a lot happened. Yes, it was that gross.

Thanks to my wife's sense of interior design, free plumbing help from Joanna's teaching colleague Michelle, and 24-hour phone assistance from The Smartest Man Alive, Chris, I was able to tile floors, move closets, rewire and upgrade lighting, replace toilets (hallelujah!), and install a beautiful, deep tub and shower. Altogether, those projects stretched across most of a year, but the results were well worth it.

Tonight, as I continued the basement purge, I discovered a container full of receipts from Lowes and Home Depot. I'd carefully saved every piece of paper that documented the renovation materials in case I decided, years later, to just return that bathtub. Hey, you never know.

Well, we're stuck with that tub, now. Tonight, I tossed caution -- and those receipts -- to the wind.

As for the corks, well, what can I say? I found another container of them in the basement. You know how alcoholics stash liquor in secret places all over the house? Well, I apparently stash corks in secret places. It's starting to worry me a little.

I swear, if I find another box of them in the future, I'm joining some sort of cork 12-step program.

Coffee talk

10/19/09 Seven travel mugs, donated to Guy E. Rowe Elementary School

A few weeks ago, Joanna came into the house after a trip to Portland and announced, "I'm throwing you a lob."

She pulled two ceramic travel mugs out of a bag.

"Now you can downsize all those plastic ones!" she said. The de-plasticification of our lives continues.

It turns out that the ceramic mugs are great for a gaggle of reasons. They keep the coffee warmer, they feel better in my hand, they look cleaner, and -- best of all -- they don't leech a weird taste into the coffee.

Which is not to say that I think the old travel mugs should just be tossed into the trash.

What does get tossed into the trash at my school are Styrofoam coffee cups. I brew a pot of coffee every Thursday morning for anyone who wants it, and I also serve java during the graduate class I teach at school every other Monday night. Styrofoam, Styrofoam, Styrofoam into the garbage, every time.

Now, I've got a collection of mugs people can use, rather than disposable cups.

Thanks for the lob, Joanna. I'd say I hit it for a single.

What's next, the car?

10/18/09 Frame of portable garage, sold on craigslist for $50

Think you had a big day? Well, today I downsized a GARAGE! Ooh-Rah!

When we moved into our house, one of our biggest concerns was that it didn't have a garage. We quickly bought a Cover-It portable shelter for Joanna's car and additional storage. It looked like this.

For three years, it stood in our driveway, getting progressively uglier. Actually, it looked exactly the same as the day we erected it, I just became increasingly aware of what an eyesore it was to have this green monstrosity dominating the front of our house.

Mother nature -- ever more aesthetically conscious than I -- finally took matters into her own hands, ripping the top open under a foot of snow one winter. I meticulously deconstructed the frame, labeling and storing every piece, right down to the bolts. The torn cover I cut into smaller tarps, which I've employed for a variety of tasks. One of them currently covers my wood pile, and our pool filter is wrapped in another one.

I stored the frame tubing and all the hardware under our deck.

After two years of thinking, "I should do something about that garage frame," I finally threw up a notice on craigslist about it. I guessed that $40 might be about the right price to ask. Boy, was I wrong.

Within twenty-four hours, I had almost a dozen people willing to drive over and pick it up immediately. In the land of snow, any kind of shelter is in demand. I contemplated trying to start a bidding war, but my better nature prevailed and I offered it to the first guy who contacted me.

Ray had a heck of a time actually getting over here, between misplaced directions and truck troubles, and it ended up taking a week for him to get the garage. He generously offered me $10 more than I had asked for being patient with him. I gladly accepted.

Seems like I could have sold it for a lot more, but it's not about the money. It's the pride of the Oversized Downsize that keeps me going.

He's on my side

10/17/09 Laptop, electronic organizer, and clock radio, recycled

Having just seen Capitalism: A Love Story, I shouldn't be in a mood to praise big corporations. But Apple gets a thumbs up from me today.

My iPhone had developed a recent problem with the headphone jack. Everything else was working great, but not the headphones. We decided to head to Portland today to see the new Michael Moore movie and swing into the Apple Store to see what they could do about the problem.

On the way, we stopped by an electronics recycling event that was being hosted by the Windham Hill United Church of Christ. I had an old laptop, my first-ever electronic address book, and a semi-broken clock radio to downsize.

The big fear about giving away your old laptop is that the information on it could be used for identify theft, right? I decided that I'd ward off such problems by getting God on my side. I gave it to the church; He's gotta stand by me now. To hedge our bets, I also tossed a few dollars into the church's donation can.

It's strange that we can pay so much for these electronic devices, and then the day comes when we're just happy to get rid of them, even paying to do so. Once they start misfiring, they are less than worthless; a security and environmental liability.

Which brings me back to my malfunctioning iPhone. I had worries that I was going to have to: A) fork over more than a few bucks to get it fixed, and B) live without it for a few days. I check the dang thing ten times an hour, and I'm not altogether sure I could survive more than half a day without it. What if someone posted a comment on my Facebook wall? How would I know? You just can't take chances like that.

At the Apple Store, I was helped at the "Genius Bar" (no modesty, there) by a friendly guy named Rafal, who quickly identified that I was right -- something was screwy with the headphone jack.

"Did you synchronize this with your computer, so I can take it?" he asked.

Ugh! I knew I was about to be sent to the e-Gulag, the Siberian outpost of those without smartphones. It's a cold, lonely place.

"Uh, yeah, I synced it," I replied, sheepishly.

"Okay, here's your new phone," he said, handing me a new iPhone, right out of the box.

"Is this a loaner, while you fix mine?" I asked.

"No, this is a new one to replace yours." Total bill: $0.00.

Here's the more remarkable thing. When I got home and plugged it into my computer, the new phone became the old phone. Eight gigabytes of pictures, video, songs, and settings were magically restored. Technology is amazing, as is Apple customer service.

See, I told you I'd get God on my side. Thanks, Big Guy. (And no, Michael Moore, I'm not referring to you.)

Corked bat

10/16/09 Box full of corks, trashed

I may be a hoarder.

Yesterday, I discovered a box full of corks (nicely labeled) in the basement. It's becoming like a bad Jeff Foxworthy routine: "You might be a hoarder if...you have a hundred corks in a cardboard box in the basement."

Now, I just KNOW that there are a thousand great uses for corks. The most impressive one I've heard of is the guy who made a boat out of wine corks. And sailed it! I momentarily considered trying to match him, until I read that he used 165,321 corks to construct the vessel. I love wine, but with Joanna pregnant, I fear the effects such a goal might have on my job (not to mention my ability to even make it up the stairs).

Actually, I stopped saving wine corks about a year ago, realizing that there were enough important projects to keep me away from ever diving into wine-cork-art. Subsequently, I completely forgot about this box of corks, which was -- unsurprisingly -- right next to the phoebe nest tin.

To properly bid the corks adieu, I opened a bottle of my finest Red Sox wine. Yes, I have a whole case of Red Sox wine. Yes, I deserve season tickets. Yes, I will gladly accept them from you.

So, the corks are in the trash, I enjoyed a bit of cab sav, and the basement is just a little bit less cluttered.

If I am a hoarder, at least I'm going down fighting.

For the birds

10/15/09 Phoebe nest, recycled

You know, I'm as surprised as you are that I had a phoebe nest. But, really, it's rather impressive. This was hand -- er, beak -- crafted several years ago by some of the finest artisans to ever grace our eaves. Not only did I preserve it in a fine, aluminum cookie tin, I even labeled it. Wow, I'm good at storage.

Before anyone starts to think it was foolish for me to store a next for three years, let's place the blame squarely where it belongs: my friend Chris. Ten years ago, Chris decided that the two of us should write a children's book together. It would center around a phoebe and a mouse, in a zany adventure on the Appalachian Trail. A can't miss project, right?

The problem is, we're ten years down the road and not quite finished... with the outline. We don't like to rush our work.

Naturally, when some phoebes built a nest on our porch, I took it as Divine Inspiration, and salvaged the nest after they moved on. I then put it in a nicely labeled tin, put it up on a shelf in the basement, and forgot about it.

So much for inspiration.

The good news is that the phoebes keep coming back. This year's nest is still clinging to the side of the house, so if I feel in need of another one, I know where to find it.

Plus, recycling the nest was delightfully eco-friendly. I just tossed it into the woods.

Chris, I got nothin' on this end. Write that book, will ya?

Four on the floor

10/14/09 Three ant farms, given away on Craigslist; Kenner Star Wars Movie Viewer, sold on ebay for $1.04; Star Wars Power Droid action figure, sold on ebay for $0.99; Folding keyboard for Pocket PC, sold on ebay for $6.05

What a busy downsizing day. I mailed off three ebay items (only two of which were Star Wars related; I'm diversifying) and gave away three ant farms. Yes, ant farms.

Here's a rundown:

The ant farms used to be in my kindergarten classroom in Harlem. Pretty cool, actually, but not the sort of thing you would usually bother to load up and move 350 miles. I did, and they have remained, neatly packed and labeled, in a box ever since. The guy who took them thought his six-year-old son would enjoy watching the industriousness of the ants, and I whole-heartedly concur.

The Movie Viewer is really pretty cool. You hold it up to your eye, turn a crank, and see clips from the original Star Wars. Although it dates from 1977, it was not something I was given as a child. (This fact stunned my Dad, who commented that there couldn't possibly have been anything Star Wars-related that I didn't have as a child.) This viewer, I'm pretty sure, was give to me by my friend and fellow Teach For America co-worker, Greg Castano. I assumed it was his as a kid, but he somehow parted with it while he was still in his twenties. I needed to wait until my thirties before I could bear the thought of losing it.

The folding keyboard is very cool. My first foray into the world of hand-held computing was a black and white Compaq iPAQ, and the folding full-size keyboard basically turned it into the world's smallest, most portable laptop computer. It's the one thing the iPhone is missing. Are you listening, Steve Jobs?

Most interestingly, the whole world had the chance to bid on the Power Droid, and it sold to someone a few towns over, in Harrison, Maine. I probably should have saved the postage and hand-delivered it.

Whew, a busy day, indeed. Took me nearly twenty minutes to package up all the ebay items at the Norway Post Office, where I'm becoming a regular.

It seems like I should take the day off tomorrow after downsizing four different things today.

But I won't.

No looking back

10/13/09 Ten postcards (each containing plans for a "New York Adventure"), recycled

Joanna is pregnant, and our son (a.k.a. The Cajun Critter) is due in January.

Yep, big changes ahead.

Tonight, as Joanna and I discussed the need for life insurance and pondered the implications of cloth diapers, I pulled a decorative basket down from the top of a cabinet. I had expected it to be empty.

Inside were ten postcards of New York scenes. On the back of each one, I had written down a "New York Adventure" I wanted to have with Joanna during our final six months in the city. I don't remember the details clearly, but I must have given them to her around Christmas 2002, knowing we'd be getting married and moving out of New York the next summer.

Here's what they said:

• January. A New York Adventure... Ticket for two to: Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum. We'll mingle with the stars together.

• Unplanned Adventure: Smoke

• February. A New York Adventure... Ticket for two to: Central Park Carriage Ride. A romantic horse-drawn trip through the park.

• Unplanned Adventure: The Museum of Sex

• March. A New York Adventure...Ticket for two to: Harlem Pub Crawl. Let's take a final evening in "our" old neighborhood. Perhaps we'll crash Mocha, Native, Lenox Lounge, Bayou, and Jimmy's Uptown.

• Unplanned Adventure: Village Vanguard

• April. A New York Adventure... Ticket for two to: Brooklyn Museum of Art's First Saturday. An evening of music and culture!

• May. A New York Adventure...Ticket for two to: Terrace in the Sky. Fine dining overlooking the far Upper West Side.

• Unplanned Adventure: Ellis Island

• June. A New York (and NJ) Adventure... Ticket for two to: An Evening in Hoboken. After ducking under the Hudson, we'll stroll through town and enjoy dinner at my favorite Italian place.

I could look back with regret that we ended up having very few of those adventures. Don't every one of those sound cool? Trust me, they do. Most didn't happen, and there's little chance they will any time soon.

As Joanna looked them over, she said, "We should save these and the next time we're in New York, try to do some of them!" Then, she laughed, realizing it just wasn't going to happen. I tossed them into the recycling bin.

I'm comforted, however, by two thoughts:

1) We had more than our share of great New York adventures (watching the sunrise from the Brooklyn Bridge comes to mind).

2) In the end, the adventures that lay ahead are always more interesting than those in the past.

With a baby on the way, I don't think I'll have the time, energy, or desire to regret what we "might have done."

I'm far more interested interested in what we - all three of us! - are going to do...

(And don't worry, Son, we most definitely will take you to the Village Vanguard.)

Traveling turtle

10/12/09 Giant fiberglass turtle, given away

Finding the giant turtle in the woods was one of the stranger moments of our new home ownership. Who had bought it, why they wanted it, and what it was for, were questions I could never get answered. But I knew who owned it now: we did.

The big reptile was too interesting to just leave in the woods, so I hauled it out and placed it on our lawn. It faced the driveway, greeting visitors for years. Kids liked to climb on it, although the fiberglass was beginning to wear and the threat of splinters was too great to allow climbing this summer.

Turtle was at his best in foul weather. In mid winter, all we'd see of him was his great head poking from the snow, a white cap on his head. Visitors would give a double-take at the snake-like visage peering out from the snowbanks.

Even better was his look when it rained. His thick, green neck muscles glistened when they were wet, making him look like The Incredible Hulk Turtle or - depending upon your mood - reminiscent of something more phallic.

Today, Turtle went to live with our Casco Library Director, Carolyn, and her son, Spencer. Carolyn said she liked turtles, and I find it important to keep the Library Director happy.

I will surely find it strange, for a while, to pull into the driveway and not have Turtle looking at me. Without him, the lawn certainly has lost a bit of whimsy, but I can live with that.

Besides, Carolyn lives a lot closer to a lake than we do, which I'm sure Turtle will find to his liking.

Defeated

10/11/09 Two tickets to Game Five of the 2009 American League Championship Series at Fenway Park, recycled

Imagine this:

After getting crushed by the Yankees in Game One of the 2009 ALCS at Yankee Stadium, the Sox came from behind to surprise them in Game Two, and then cruise to victories at Fenway in Games Three and Four. Leading three games to one, the Sox enter Game Five with a confident Josh Beckett on the mound, ready to embarrass the Yanks (again!) and head to the 2009 World Series.

And who's in the Right Field Grandstand, Section 5, Row 4, Seats 4 & 5? Why, it's the world's two greatest BoSox fans (and amazing Literacy Coaches), Jenn Felt and Reed Dyer! So good, so good, so good!

Isn't it a glorious vision?

And it ain't gonna happen.

Prior to 2004, the Sox would always break your heart in such a specific way: just a few outs from ultimate victory, they'd snatch defeat from nowhere.

The 2009 Sox decided to shift it up a little. They just looked bad from the start of the playoffs, not putting up any fight in Games 1 & 2 of the ALDS, and then coming from ahead to lose Game 3, thus ending the season.

Which then took the value of my playoff tickets for the next round from $200 to $0. Those tix could have created great memories. Now they're in the recycle bin.

Minutes after the loss, I got a text message from Jenn:

I can't believe it. I am officially in mourning til pitchers & catchers report! :(

You said it, Coach.

Collective Good-sizing

10/10/09 Two cell phones and a Pocket PC, donated to Collective Good

Here's a cool thing: I got rid of three virtually worthless electronic devices today, and I can have the warm glow of giving to a good cause at the same time.

In my search for ways to get rid of old cell phones, I stumbled upon an organization called Collective Good. You donate your old electronic stuff to them, they find a non-profit organization that can use the phones.

I chose the Captain Planet Foundation which, beside having a cool, superhero name, works "to fund and support hands-on, environmental projects for children and youths." I've never heard of them before, but it sounds like a great cause to me. In fact, it reminded me of an environmental after school program that my friend Jason and I started when we taught in Harlem. Having been on the other side of the equation, I know how hard it can be to raise donations, especially for causes that focus on urban kids.

I mailed off the cell phones and my old Dell Axim to Collective Good this morning. Like any superhero, I like to get my "world-saving" done by 11AM on Saturdays.

Puppet master

10/09/09 Eight puppets (four of them custom-made!), given away

My mom is a special lady. An art teacher, she's the one I go to anytime I need something crafted from scratch.

When I was teaching kindergarten in New York, I asked her if she could make some puppets based on characters from some great children's books: The Very Hungry Caterpillar, The Very Busy Spider, Chrysanthemum, and Corduroy. She did, of course, and I used those puppets - and several others I bought - for years as a classroom teacher.

Since I became a literacy coach the puppets haven't seen any action, and the box they were in had gathered an inch of dust on the top shelf in my office. It's not an easy decision to give away something that mom made, but it was time to get those puppets back into a classroom.

I put out an email to the kindergarten and first grade teachers at our school, and Lori Plummer was the first to respond. I popped into her class today to hear her read The Very Hungry Caterpillar as one of her students acted out the story with a puppet. The class loved it.

On a side note, yesterday, teachers all over the country read The Very Hungry Caterpillar in an effort to set a new world record for the most people reading the same book on the same day. I don't think the official count is in, yet, but I bet the record was broken. That's the right book to do it with; a timeless classic that kids of any age can enjoy.

Especially if you've got a caterpillar puppet to go along with it.

Let the playoffs begin!

10/8/09 Sports Illustrated magazine, sent to Boston

Boston sports are one of the loves of my life. Definitely behind Joanna in the hierarchy, but a true love, nonetheless.

Tonight the Red Sox begin their bid for their third World Series championship in six years. I surely love that.

As usual, the Sox are playing the Angels, which means that the first two games BEGIN after 9:30 PM. Give me a break! Major League Baseball complains that it's fan base is getting older and more corporate. And then they start the games at ridiculously late hours. Pathetic.

The Red Sox play shall not be pathetic, however, and I will fight through exhaustion to watch the whole game. (I was feeling the exhaustion at 5PM tonight, so it might get pretty interesting around 11.)

The "Go Sox" sign is on top of the T.V. (courtesy of sis-in-law Amanda). The alternate home jersey is on my back (courtesy of Joanna). The Sox tie (courtesy of me) was around my neck all day at school.

And, another Sports Illustrated has departed in the mail. This one shows Jonathan Papelbon jumping in euphoria after the final out of the 2007 championship. My fingers are crossed that he'll deliver it back, signed.

Hopefully, later tonight, he'll also deliver a save in Game 1.

Play ball!

Rash decisions

10/7/09 Audio Cassette storage container, trashed

I know what you're saying.

You're saying, "Oh, dear God, no! That isn't a SoundDesigns SA48 Audio Cassette Storage system, is it? Only a limited number of them were crafted back in the mid-80's. The finest, most durable way to protect your Pointer Sisters and Huey Lewis and the News cassettes. Reed wouldn't actually get rid of that, would he? What has the world come to?!?"

Hey, it's late, I'm tired, and the clock is ticking. It's dangerous to downsize under such conditions. Mistakes get made.

Surely, I'll rue the day.

Listen to a story

10/6/09 Hummingbird feeder, given away.

You can get rid of stuff through ebay, and you can get ride of stuff through craigslist.

Ebay gets you money, in a cold, impersonal internet kind of way.

Craigslist gets you stories, face to face.

I love the fact that when I sell or give away something on craigslist, the person drives over to my place, shakes my hand, and tells me a story.

I ask, "Why do you want this?"

Why do you want these pillows? (Answer) Why do you want this dresser? (Answer) Why do you want this razor? (Answer) Why do you want these pool chemicals? (Answer)

They always have a story. And I always find it interesting.

Today, a delightful woman named Linda came by to take a glass hummingbird feeder we no longer need. (We have such busy, hungry ruby throated hummingbirds around here that Joanna surprised me last year with a larger feeder.)

Her stories? She'll give the feeder to her mother, to replace the a plastic one she now has. She scans craigslist for her daughter, who just moved into an unfurnished apartment with her two young children. And, she lost 150 pounds (and counting)! Well done, Linda!

You just can't get that through ebay. If its money vs. stories, I'll take the stories every time.

Book Swapping

10/5/09 Twelve books, donated to the Guy E. Rowe Elementary School Book Swap Library.

I'm really in the downsizing swing now. Today I got rid of three things, any one of which I could consider today's downsize. A month ago I would have thought of that as a waste, wishing I could have spread them out over three days. Not anymore. Happy to be rid of it all.

Which brings me to today's official downsize: a dozen books given to my school's Book Swap Library.

I'll be brief, but I need to give you the quick skinny on this inspirational project.

At our school, we have a little office that has been converted into a used book store. Every Friday afternoon, students can bring in old books they own and trade them for the books in the Book Swap Library. If they bring in three old books, they get to choose three different books from the stacks. The books they take are theirs to keep. Or give away. Or swap next week. Or whatever.

Just like adults, they get to make their own choices about what books they want and what to do with them once they get them.

Kindergarteners swap books. Sixth graders swap books. Sometimes, we see kids giving other kids books just so their friends can swap, too.

The fantastic part of this whole deal is that it was conceived by a parent. She came to us with the basic idea. She led the effort to get books donated to fill the shelves (and to get those shelves donated). She coordinates the parent volunteers who staff the room each Friday. She, and a bunch of other parent volunteers, do all the work.

This little project costs the school nothing. We didn't pay for the books. We don't use any paid staff to organize, run, or oversee the project. Our budget line for the Book Swap Library is $0.

And yet, it's a significant part of our school. The kids love it. It helps us cultivate a community of readers and get a lot of books into the hands of kids who otherwise wouldn't have such choices. It also gives teachers access to a huge selection of books that they can use for their own teaching or simply give to kids who may not have any books of their own at home.

In general, I think public schools could do a lot better job working with families. But, this is one case where a true home-school partnership is making a difference for a lot of deserving kids.

Trade your atoms for bits

10/4/09 Sixteen jazz CDs, donated to Casco Public Library

I love the digital age. I get rid of stuff while still keeping it. Paradoxical Downsizing!

Today, I donated sixteen great jazz CDs to the Casco Public Library. (Click here for my previous post about the library's new John R. Bennett Memorial Music Collection.) But, before giving them away I downloaded all the music to my computer.

To paraphrase Chris Anderson, author of Free, we can trade atoms for bits. We can get rid of the physical stuff, keep a digital version, thus eliminating clutter without reducing our access to the material. Very cool.

Sure, this applies to music, but what else?

Photographs. Take a picture of the picture (or, better yet, scan it), toss the original.

Personal letters & cards. Scan 'em, recycle 'em.

DVDs. This isn't easy yet for most of us, for two reasons. 1) We don't have the proper hardware or software to burn DVDs. 2) Most commercial DVDs are copy protected. However, I see both of these as changing soon. Like CDs, I think soon we'll be able to legally copy DVDs for personal use, just as we can now download digital copies of movies directly from iTunes.

Home movies. All those old VHS tapes can be converted to digital (not that we'll ever watch them anyway). Plus, with digital camcorders and Flip cameras (very cool, those Flip cameras!), our home movies from here forward are going to be digital in the first place.

Bills, receipts, invoices, statements, etc. Everything can be done electronically, as long as we contact them in advance and tell them to e-bill us. That's getting rid of stuff before it even arrives. Talk about efficiency.

What else can we digitally downsize?

Give me ideas, Dear Readers. You suggest it, I'll try it out.

George is THE MAN!

10/3/09 Talking Darth Vader pen, sold on ebay for 99 cents

George Lucas is a freakin' genius. There is no other way to put it, and I challenge anyone to dispute it.

There's no need for me to pull out the laundry list of reasons why he is justifiably exalted, but today's downsize does hint at his greatness.

I sold a little plastic pen that has Darth Vader's head on it and plays four of the villain's catchphrases when you push little buttons. Can you believe that there is not only a market for such things, but that they can even be RE-sold? It's astounding.

Thirty-two years ago, with a cowboy story set in space, he not only changed the way the movie business operates, but also altered marketing, merchandising, and pop culture forever.

Were the changes for the better? Certainly, that's up for debate, but the profound impact is undeniable.

And, heck, those movies sure are fun.

Detox

10/2/09 Six bottles of liquid swimming pool shock, sold on craigslist for $15

For the third day in a row, I've gotten rid of chemicals. This trifecta was unplanned, but I wonder if it means I have too many toxins in my life. At least there are less now.

Two days ago, I rid myself of a bevy of inherited chemicals, yesterday I gave a bottle of RV antifreeze to a teaching colleague (perhaps the RV stuff isn't toxic, but you sure wouldn't curl up with a glass of it and a good book), and today I sold six bottles of swimming pool chlorine solution.

During my years-long search for a pool dealer who could actually help me keep my pool clear, I briefly tried out the liquid shock, rather than the granular stuff most places peddle. It was sold at the pool store nearest to my house, but they also sell wood stoves, and the combination seemed too odd for me. Regardless, the liquid didn't work any better, and I ended up squirreling away six bottles of it (four of which were in box that was still sealed) for the last few years.

For the record, I've regularly shopped at four different pool stores, as well as Walmart and the internet. I'm at the point where I've decided to pretty much cut out the middle man and stick with on-line distributors. Hey, it's a new millennium.

The chlorine was probably worth somewhere between $40 and $80 dollars, but I'm in a downsizing state of mind, and didn't want to worry about finding the perfect price point. For a quick sale, it turns out that $15 was a very perfect price point.

I'm sure that Ray, an Auburn guy who joked that having a pool was especially foolish for him, since he also had a boat, will put the stuff to good use and, to be sure, he got a deal.

But, then again, so did I. Six gallons of foul-smelling toxins out the door. That's a good deal at any price.

Let us celebrate teachers

10/1/01 Gallon of RV antifreeze, given away

Let us celebrate teachers like Deb Stearns.

Teachers who quietly spend eight to ten hours every day at school, teaching and planning their hearts out.

Teachers who drive forty-five minutes each way on the weekend to come in and get their classroom ready for the next week.

Teachers who invite anyone into their classrooms, engage them in the students' learning, and invite them to share a favorite book with the kids.

Teachers who, after twenty years in the system, stay on the cutting edge of instructional practice by earning their master's degree in literacy.

Teachers who greet their children with the love of a mother.

Teachers who believe that EVERY ONE of their students can succeed, and then tailor their instruction to meet the needs of every one of those kids.

Teacher whom you'd like your own child to learn from.

And, in addition to celebrating teachers like Deb Stearns, let us also give them a nearly-full gallon of RV antifreeze that they can use to winterize the pipes of their campers.