Thursday, December 31, 2009

Keg stand

12/31/09 Keg tap, given away

I love to party.

...I'll wait while you all stop laughing...

Before you so quickly dismiss my funk-i-tude, I want to know, Dear Readers, how many of you once owned your own keg tap? Huh?

That's what I thought. While you've gone through life renting taps whenever you host a kegger, I had my own, personal Bronco Pump. Which I last used about sixteen years ago.

That is not to say, however, that my disco days ended in college. In fact, I once jogged through a Rave in New York City. Let's repeat that: I once jogged through a Rave. C'mon, that's hardcore. (And it's a bizarre story you should ask me about sometime.)

Admittedly, my wild lifestyle has slowed in recent years. In fact, Joanna and I have taken to celebrating Greenwich Mean Time New Years, enabling us to usher in the new year at 7PM and then go to bed. Okay, the wild lifestyle has really slowed.

I'm still connected to some serious partiers, though, and I know that the Bronco Pump lives to serve. My friend, let's call her Lady Dorn, is preparing for a wedding in 2010, up in The County in northern Maine. They certainly know how to throw a wedding up there, so I've mailed my keg tap up to participate in the festivities. I know, Ms. Dorn, you'll treat it right.

As for now, it's 9:35 on New Year's Eve, which means they celebrated the beginning of 2010 in Greenwich two and a half hours ago. Whew, time for bed.

Happy New Year, Dear Readers.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Map it out

12/30/09 Five maps, recycled

As we prepare to begin a new year, most of us ask ourselves, "In what direction am I headed?"

Hopefully I won't need a map to get there, since I just recycled five of them.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Big Box


12/29/09 Two door pieces, returned for refund of $20.34

Say what you will about the big box stores, they know how to handle returns. I don't want local hardware stores to go out of business, but there's a lot to be said about huge stores that have just about everything, at a reasonable price, and take stuff back with no questions.

Actually, the way I work these days is by buying about one third more than I need, knowing I'll return what I don't use. Usually, this means holding onto the receipt and heading back to the store within a few days.

A few days ago I was rooting around behind some scrap lumber in the basement and uncovered two unopened door accessories I bought a long time ago. I'm not sure exactly when I got them, but it was at least a year ago, and could have been two or three. Receipts, of course, are long gone (possibly in this downsize), but they were at least still in their original packages.

First we headed to Lowes, where I innocently plopped both items down on the return counter.

"Just here to return a few things. Sorry I don't have my receipt."

She scanned both items, and -- bingo! -- handed me $10.37 for one of them.

I pleaded ignorance on the second and headed across the street to Home Depot. Ding, ding, ding! Another $9.97.

The thing I always wonder is if the items might have actually cost less way back when I bought them. I like to imagine that I actually made a few dollars by storing these things away for a few years.

Even if I did steal a few bucks from the big boys today, the genius of their strategy is that they made me happy, which leads to me to return, again and again. No matter how much I downsize, there's always something else to buy.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Cup (down)size

12/28/09 Several bras, given away

Joanna insisted that this was a legitimate downsize, even though I never actually wore any of the bras we gave away (at least, as far as I'm willing to admit). They belonged to Joanna, but she said it was time for them to go.

As our Good Old Fashioned Family Christmas came to a close, we presented them as a final gift to one of our beloved family members, my sister-in-law's fluffy white dog.

Don't be misled, Izzy is seven pounds of pure terror. She has -- I'm not making this up -- a rap sheet with Boston Animal Control. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

To protect ourselves, we do what we can to keep her placated with her preferred playthings. Which include women's undergarments.

Who knew she and I had so much in common?

Sunday, December 27, 2009

What's in your wallet?



12/27/09 Bunch of stuff in my wallet, trashed

Had to get a bit creative today, since we are still at Meyrick and Donna's rented place at Pineland Farms.

A lack of planning left me here with three downsizing sources:

1) Joanna's car. There's definitely some stuff in there that could go, but it's been raining like crazy all day, so I ruled that out.

2) My clothes. This would be drastic, since I only packed basic necessities. Whatever I tossed would be from my usual rotation, and I'm not feeling that desperate.

3) My wallet. It felt like I was carrying around the Oxford English Dictionary in my back pocket. Bingo!

It turned out to be a speedy process, since I deferred any difficult decisions.

The hardest item to toss was my ticket from the Maine Red Claws inaugural home game. Since this was the first home contest ever from our new NBA Developmental League team, the collector in me felt a pang of regret as I threw it away, but I fought through it.

And now I can put the wallet back in my pants without fear of throwing myself off balance.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

These shoes are made for walking


12/26/09 Three pairs of shoes, donated to Planet Aid

My Dad always gives my sister a hard time for her Imelda Marcos-like collection of footwear.

A recent exploration of my own closet revealed that I have a bit of a shoe fetish myself. I own enough shoes, in fact, that today I was able to give away three pairs of perfectly wearable skips. I put them in the large yellow Planet Aid drop box that I had noticed on my way into Portland. Was that the right thing to do? The jury is out.

A quick internet search (which I cannot link to since I'm writing this on the iPhone) reveals that Plant Aid has come under a considerable amount of fire for not doing all they should with the donation proceeds. I surely home they don't misappropriate my six shoes.

Fittingly, as I was ridding myself of footwear, Joanna and her family were indulging their dogs at Soakology. Foot massages and tea. I guess that's somebody's idea of a good time.

Me, I'm happy to give used sneakers to questionable charitable organizations.

Simple pleasures, simple pleasures.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Final Part

12/25/09 Many books and other assorted delights, given away

And so, Christmas has reached its inevitable climax, with a flurry of unrestrained downsizing.

We traveled over to my parents' home in Winthrop today to exchange a few gifts and shared Christmas dinner, not that we needed it after last night's feast. Nephew James was the big winner, recipient of many great books that we figured we could always borrow back in the future, if we want.

After we opened the presents and Mom and Dad put the finishing touches on dinner, James curled up with Joanna on the couch and she read through several of the books. James seemed to enjoy himself.

So did the rest of us.

As we draw this holiday to a close, I think of Scrooge's vow: "I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year."

Me, too.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part VII

12/24/09 Three books, given away

With the imminent arrival of our baby, we have forgone our annual holiday trip to Joanna's family home in Connecticut, and they, instead, have come to us. They rented a house for several days at a wonderful facility in New Gloucester called Pineland Farms.

It's all the convenience of hosting a Maine Christmas without any of the hassle. Joanna and I are loving it.

What I'm especially loving is Donna's cooking, which is world class. My family will arrive shortly for Donna's Christmas Eve feast, and they won't be disappointed.

Donna is also a voracious reader, which is dangerous given the many books I need to downsize. Among the tomes we presented her with tonight was one of my all-time favorites: Tom Robbin's Skinny Legs and All. If you haven't read it, buy it for yourself as a Christmas present. Trust me, it's the best book you'll ever read about the Israeli/Palestinian conflict that features a talking spoon and a can of beans. Classic.

To cap the evening, Joanna's father, Meyrick, will read 'Twas the Night Before Christmas to the assembled loved ones.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part VI

12/23/09. Two shirts & four Star Wars books, given away

Teach For America changed my life.

I joined right out of college and ended up teaching at a school in Paterson, New Jersey. Growing up, and even in college, I had never planned to become a teacher. Fifteen years later I'm still in education. Teach For America is what started it all for me.

But TFA had an even more profound impact on my life than launching my career.

It gave me my best friends, Chris, Jason, and Marc. They also ended up in Jersey schools back in 1994, and we quickly bonded. Without our network of four, I'm not sure any of us would have made it through our first two years in the classroom.

Chance may have brought us together, but respect, trust, support, and fun are what made the friendship last. We're now stretched far apart -- Maine, Philadelphia, Atlanta, Denver -- but we're just as close as ever. If I called up any one of those men right now and asked for a favor, each one would immediately say "Yes," no matter how great the sacrifice.

That's true friendship, and I've got it three times over.

As I began my Christmas Downsize spree, I decided to send a care package to each of those men and their families. I sent Chris' on Friday, Jason's on Saturday, and Marc's today.

His sons get a few Star Wars books (Marc's sons, being well-raised boys, are growing up Star Wars fans), he gets back a basketball jersey from a elementary school team he coached during those first two years of teaching, and they can all fight over the Celtics shirt (Marc, being a well-raised boy, grew up loving the Celtics).

I got the annual fundraising solicitation from Teach For America the other day. Will I donate?

After all the organization has given me, how could I not give back?

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part V

12/22/09 Aquarium and complete set of lizard supplies, sold on craigslist for $75

When I taught at Future Leaders Institute in New York, our class pets were two water dragons named Bebop and Lady Day. (That's Bebop sleeping on my shoulder.)

They lived a rather luxurious life in a thirty-gallon tank with all of the fixings. Live crickets for dinner every day. Ah, we should all have such indulgences.

Both lizards passed on before I moved to Maine, so I was left with their luxury digs, which I carted up the East Coast and have kept at school ever since. I briefly had hermit crabs in the tank, but it's just been collecting dust for the last four years.

Now, it's destined to be a really cool Christmas present.

A Portland teacher came by today and bought the tank and lizard supplies as a surprise Christmas gift for his six-year-old son. What's his son's name?

Reid.

I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

Merry Christmas, Reid. May your bearded dragon or spotted gecko or green anoles bring you all the joy that Bebop and Lady brought to my students.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part IV

12/21/09 Clothing, bedding, and games, donated to Preble Street Resource Center

Today is Homeless Persons' Memorial Day, organized by the National Coalition for the Homeless. It is designed to call attention to the plight of the homeless and to remember the countless who die on the streets every year.

Why today? It's the winter solstice: "The First Day of Winter. The Longest Night of the Year."

Yesterday, as we were driving home from dinner out, Joanna and I discussed what it would be like to camp overnight in the backyard. I contended that, given fifteen minutes, I could easily grab enough supplies from my camping collection to make the night bearable. I chucked about it and then walked into our toasty home.

Today, Joanna and I walked into the Preble Street Resource Center in Portland and got a little reality check on that conversation. Undoubtedly, many of the people we saw in there had spent last night outside, without my Cascade Designs dome tent or NorthFace sleeping bag.

Downstairs, the line in the soup kitchen stretched the length of the cafeteria. Up in the Adult Day Shelter, I didn't see an empty chair.

The four small bags of donated goods I took in won't go very far in combating the problems these people face. But, for Joanna and I, this little act of visiting and giving to a place which is all about helping others provided us a little perspective on the holidays. If Christmas is about giving, it's good to think who might really need our gifts.

Joanna and I are so fortunate, it's hard for me to even comprehend what a charmed existence we lead. I'm sure I have an easier life than 99.9999% of the people in this world.

And my son, just because of the random fact that he's going to be born with me as his father and Joanna as his mother, will have more advantages than almost any other child on this planet. But, that doesn't make his life, or Joanna's, or mine, any more valuable than everyone else's. Who your parents are or where you are born shouldn't determine whether you sleep in a cozy log home in the woods of Casco or on the broken pavement of Portland.

Despite our circumstances, we all deserve to have joy and dignity in our lives.

Especially at Christmas.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part III

12/20/09 Forty-two books, donated to the Casco Public Library

I love holiday parties. The food, the cheer, the friends. Plus, I'm basically an All-Pro at small talk.

This afternoon we enjoyed a delightful celebration at the Casco Public Library, which looks like it's right out of a small town, old-time, storybook movie.

In National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (pretty much the greatest holiday movie of all time), Clark Griswold battles for 97 minutes to give his family "a good, old-fashioned, family Christmas!" It nearly kills him.

Oh, if he could have only come up to Casco.

The Casco Library party was wonderful. Joanna did her part, baking a delicious gingerbread cake and a lemon-blueberry loaf. Yum.

And, Joanna and I were also surprised with a card and Babies-R-Us gift certificate from the library trustees. Our president, Ron, also declared that, to his knowledge, I was the first trustee to ever have a child while serving on the board. Ah, history in the making.

Well, with all this giving I had to reciprocate. Our donation of books is yet another drop (or snowflake?) in the bucket for the Casco Library. Every little bit counts. In a community like this, a lot of people work to make sure that bucket stays full.

Now, let's party. Where's the eggnog?

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part II

12/19/09 Four nonfiction books, Six children's books, given away

As we look out at the wintery landscape of our woodsy property, I feel a tinge of pity for those people who need to spend Christmas (or Hanukkah) in places with no snow. Thus, the need to send some downsizing cheer to our Southern Friends.

Specifically, Jason, Jenny, and little Bella in Atlanta.

From as far as I can tell, not only do they not have winter in Atlanta, I'm not even sure they acknowledge the month of December. Well, we New Englanders will have none of that. I braved the nightmare that is the U.S. Post Office on the Saturday before Christmas -- had to break up two fights -- to send a collection of great books to J, J, & B.

Despite my love of books, I've decided that the Downsizing Challenge calls for ruthless culling of the written word. These books are all fantastic, but if I ever need to read them again (or read them to the little guy who's on the way), I know a great library where I can borrow copies. In the meantime, I'm happy to share the wealth.

Besides, one of the books was entitled White Death. If that doesn't scream, "Happy Holidays," I don't know what does.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Christmas Downsize, Part I

12/18/09 Books, audio books, and other goodies, given away

Regarding the picture above: there's a reason Trane was trying to get himself packed into that box of stuff. He knew it was going to great people.

Today, I mailed the box to our first-class friends, Chris & Juliane.

[Side note: Now that I've written their names, I know Chris is freaking out. He's convinced that any mention of him on the internet will lead to instant and catastrophic identify theft. That's silly, of course, because nobody can steal his identify online unless they have his Social Security number. His Social Security number is 330-03-3244.]


But, I digress.

So a little background: Chris is the smartest guy I know. The marriage to Juliane makes sense because she was the only person he ever found who is smarter than he is.

We don't see them nearly as much as we'd like, since we have five states between us. Rather than face-to-face holiday greetings, they get several downsized treasures.

Juliane is a Star Wars fan, as one would expect from someone that cool. For her: a classy Death Star Mouse Pad. I'm not even sure her computer has a mouse, but she'll figure out some use for it.

Chris is an artist and illustrator who works from home. He spends long hours working at his desk at home, often listening to books on tape. Thus, for him: Between a Rock and a Hard Place by Aron Ralston (you know, the guy who cut his own arm off to survive a hiking accident), The Greatest Story Ever Sold by Frank Rich (if you somehow continue to live under the delusion that Bush wasn't one of the worst presidents ever, don't read this), and First Man by James Hansen (interesting account of Neil Armstrong and the Apollo program; very timely since this year is the 40th anniversary of the moonwalk).

For them both: The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. You think writing is tough? Try writing an incredibly lyrical memoir, letter-by-letter, using only your eyelid. After you read the book, definitely see the movie.

Also, a Gandhi stuffed toy. Much more academic than a teddy bear, I assure you. Turns out Gandhi is quite cuddly. I happen to know they like to cuddle.

In the end, of course, I couldn't let Trane ship out in the box. Besides, Chris and Juliane have their own pet, whom they love every bit as much as we love our cats. Scout is a beautiful black lab, and she's been so lucky to share her life with these two humans. They've treated her right, and she's given it all back to them.

The paradox of pet ownership is that we take these creatures into our lives with the full knowledge that they won't be with us forever. New York Times columnist Verlyn Klinkenborg just wrote about this in a way more powerful than I can. Chris and Juliane are doing all they can to enjoy Scout's golden years, and to make sure she enjoys them, too.

In less than a month, our son is scheduled to be born, and I know his arrival is going to change our relationship with Trane and Bird. They aren't going to get the usual attention, and they are going to get knocked down to second and third fiddle seriously fast. They won't be our prime object of affection, which will certainly represent a major change in this house.

In that way, Scout has been lucky. She's always received the bulk of Chris and Juliane's love, and we've always tried to do our part when we visited her.

In fact, one of my absolute favorite pictures of Joanna and me was taken on Chris and Juliane's couch, as we petted Scout.

She's such a good girl.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

THE REED DYER BASKETBALL GIVE-AWAY FREE-THROW INVITATIONAL

12/17/09 Basketball, given away

Now, this is cool downsizing.

Today I hosted...
THE REED DYER BASKETBALL GIVE-AWAY FREE-THROW INVITATIONAL.

Most teachers hate foul weather that leads to indoor recess, but I've been eagerly anticipating it for two weeks. This morning we had some typically crisp Maine December temperatures -- hovering around three degrees -- which necessitated keeping the kids indoors. Guess some youngsters are rather wimpy these days.

But not all of them. Especially not fourth grader Rashawn.

I lined up all comers to compete in my little competition. The rules: first kid to sink two free-throws in a row wins a basketball. There had been a bit of debate among my colleagues who knew my plans for the b-ball give-away. Some thought that there might not be any students who could hit two in a row, and most agree it could take the whole recess period.

Well, Rashawn schooled them. He was about sixth in line, and none of the students ahead of him -- including a few of the sixth grade jocks (well, as close to jocks as we get in sixth grade) -- hit a single shot.

Then, Rashawn stepped up and coolly buried them both. Give that boy a Red Claws contract!

Oh, and give him a basketball. Score!

Editor's Note, 8/2/10: Close observers will note that in the picture, the ball is dated 12/7/10, not 12/17/10. Please be assured that I was not trying to cheat on this downsize, I just rushed when dating the ball. Rashawn later came back to me to point out the error, which I corrected on his prize. Who says kids aren't observant these days?

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

White Elephant

12/16/09 Cat statuette, given away

Oh, no they didn't!

The social committee at my school planned a Holiday Party, complete with White Elephant gift exchange, and they expected, just because I had to skip it in order to go to Joanna's doctor appointment, that I wouldn't use the opportunity to get rid of something nobody wants?!? They do not know me well enough.

I left my gift -- a wooden-metal-cat-sculpture-thing -- with Jane, my Assistant Principal, with the clear instructions that someone was to go home with it, and I was NOT accepting any gift in return.

I'm praying that when I walk into my office tomorrow, nothing has been left for me.

Editor's Note, 12/18/09: Predictably, I walked into my office the next day and found a gift bag with five gifts (and I use that term very loosely) that were left over from the staff holiday party. I can take a joke. By noon, I'd already downsized all but one of them. The last, battery-powered Christmas lights, will be part of my professional attire today, but shall be out of my possession by day's end, guaranteed.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Too old to get carded

12/15/09 Countless baby shower cards, recycled

I know I'm going to take some heat for this one.

In the last week, we had two beautiful baby showers thrown for us. One at my school, and one at my parents' house. Joanna and I have been a bit overwhelmed by everyone's thoughtfulness and generosity. It is certainly true that our son shall not want.

In addition to the many outfits, blankets, books, toys, stuffed animals, and diapers (cloth, of course), we also received dozens of cards. I recognize that each card was carefully selected and the message inside written with love. As I documented earlier in the challenge, I can be guilty of hoarding cards, especially when I know they were given in such a meaningful way.

We read through the cards when we first received them, and I spent this evening, as I sorted and organized gifts, rereading each one of them.

I could place them on display, but we don't begin to have the shelf space to properly show them all off. Furthermore, with the holidays upon us, we are receiving Christmas cards daily, which are also fighting for attention.

So tonight, less than a week after receiving them, I recycled (almost) all of those baby shower cards.

Lest you think I am completely unappreciative, please note that I did keep ONE baby card, because it was so cute and the message was so heartfelt.

It was the one you gave me.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Tape-delay

12/14/09 Pair of Tevas and pair of flip flops, trashed

Duct tape is a marvelous thing. It extended this right Teva by at least two years and could probably keep it going for several more.

If I weren't now in the habit of throwing away perfectly good stuff.

I also tossed a cheap pair of flip flops, which I got for free and probably wore about a dozen times. Easy come, easy go.

I now have less summer footwear, which shouldn't impact my life very much. I was out at 6AM this morning shoveling snow, so these weren't going to be called into service anytime soon. I guess when summer rolls around, I'll just go barefoot.

If that doesn't work, I could always cover my feet in duct tape.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

In check

12/13/09 Check for Red Sox/Yankees tickets, cut up & recycled

A while ago I found a check written back in August. It was from my friend (and future Red Sox Nation President) Jenn, reimbursing me for the Red Sox/Yankee tickets I bought for her. Since she had already taken me to a game earlier in the year (a great victory over Baltimore), I hadn't expected her to pay me for the Yankee tickets (especially since the BoSox ended up getting crushed), and I put the check aside after the game.

By the way, here's the post about that game, which was a blast despite the score.

When I found Jenn's check in my desk, I realized I needed to do something with it. I will admit that, with Christmas upon us, I was tempted to cash it. However, my inner Who trumped my inner Grinch, and tonight I destroyed the check, instead.

Besides, the timing makes sense. Tickets for next season went on sale yesterday, so all of New England is already starting to think that this just could be the year! Plus, Jenn has been laid up with a bad back, so she needs all the Holiday Cheer she can get.

Merry Christmas, Jenn. Don't say I never get you anything!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Showering with the family

12/12/09 Two boxes of flower bulbs, given away

We began the week with a baby shower at my school, and today we ended the week with a baby shower at my folks' home. Oh, little Chase, you shall be well outfitted.

My sister Katie organized this grand event around the theme Go Green. Good choice, Sis. Great food, family from all over the state (and New Hampshire, Massachusetts, and Connecticut), and a killer carrot cake. After the party, my parents even took us out for a delicious pre-Christmas dinner.

A wonderful time was had by all.

As today's downsize, I took two boxes of flower bulbs over with us, since my Dad is gardener-extraordinaire, and more likely to use them than we are. It turned out that my grandmother specifically needs to replant some lilly-of-the-valley, so that box went home with her. (Aren't we cute in that picture?)

The other box I gave away contained paper white bulbs. Guess what the party favors were? At Katie's suggestion, Dad had forced paper white bulbs for everyone who came to the shower. Is there some kind of clairvoyance going on within my family?

So, we left a box of bulbs with my family, and came home with four that are already starting to bloom. We also came home with a whole lotta other stuff, all of it just as green as the paper whites.

Thanks, everyone. We're definitely feeling the love.

Friday, December 11, 2009

We've still got some Savage Inequalities

12/11/09 Ordinary Resurrections audio book by Jonathan Kozol, given away

Jonathan Kozol is the man.

Here's what he has to tell you: kids in poor urban areas have been mistreated by our public education system, and we, as Americans, should not only feel the shame of that fact, but should immediately move to solve the problem.

Mr. Kozol, I'm with you.

He's written a number of powerful books, each more astounding than the last. Savage Inequalities. Amazing Grace. Ordinary Resurrections. The Shame of the Nation. At its heart, his reporting style is simple. He goes into city schools, spends time with children and teachers, and tells their stories.

He thinks we should treat poor young children of color humanely. Which, for the record, we often don't.

If you want to hear him talk -- and he does so with as much passion as he writes -- this link will get you started.

I'm not going to pretend I have the answers to the problems he documents. But, I've spent enough time in the type of schools he writes about to know that it's criminal that we aren't making a better effort to do something.

I thought of Kozol today as I prepared to travel up to the University of Maine for Literacy Coach professional development. Spending the day among dozens of educators who believe that EVERY child can learn, and can be taught to do so with dignity, always reinvigorates me. My intention was to donate my audio book copy of Ordinary Resurrections to the Maine Literacy Partnership's professional library.

But, my friend Janet got to me first. She's a Literacy Coach at Houlton Elementary School, and they are extremely lucky to have her. Janet's actually one of the few people know who I think could have a profoundly positive effect -- all by herself, mind you -- on any school she walked into.

She wants the audio book? She gets the audio book.

Hey, I bet if we put Janet in charge of our worse schools, she'd turn 'em around faster than Jonathan Kozol could say, "Well done, Janet."

Thursday, December 10, 2009

One fan to another

12/10/09 Return of the Jedi comic, given away

Ah, it's good to see kids being raised right these days. Take for example young Casey, who is properly fanatic about Star Wars. Thirty-two years ago, when I was his age, I was among the first generation of Star Wars geeks. I love to see the legions grow.

I've written several times about my great friend Vance (here, here, here), who passed away last year. Casey is his nephew, so the young whipper snapper was a prime target to be a downsizing beneficiary. Plus, it is the season of giving.

The even better part is that I actually had two identical issues of this classic comic. So, I've got my copy, and Casey (once the U.S. Postal Service gets it to him) has his own copy. We should coordinate simultaneous readings.

The torch is yours, Casey. Carry it well!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Can I mix you a Rusty Nail?

12/9/09 Large pickle jar full of rusty nails & bolts, trashed (Or does it count as recycled? -- The dump does something with these, right?)

This is the sort of downsize most people won't appreciate. As I look at that jar full of bent, rusty hardware, I can understand why some might say it's rather pathetic to hold onto such things. Others will argue that it doesn't even count as a legitimate downsize.

But, you must appreciate that it's in my genes to not only hold onto items such as these, but to always be on the lookout for opportunities to use them.

Now that they are gone, there will be times in the future when I'll say to myself, "Oh, if I only had that slightly bent nine-inch bolt!"

The other thing I should mention is that pain of parting with this jar full of rusty bolts is dulled a bit by the fact that I still have another such jar out in the shed.

Hey, you can't expect me to become a changed man overnight.

Editor's Note, 12/20/09: Finally made it to the dump today with the nails. In the end, I downsized 20 pounds of metal. Heavy metal is right!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Quite a place to live

12/8/09 Backgammon, given away

I gave a board game away at school, but that's not the interesting item from the day.

Here's a little story that pretty much sums up a lot about Maine:

My drive home takes me on a long straight stretch of dark, back-country road. Suddenly, I saw a deer in my headlights on the right side of Route 121. I learned long ago to never slam on the breaks when an animal runs in front of you, especially when the road is snowy and icy. I managed to cut my speed in half before I clipped his rear end as he ran right across the road. Fortunately for me and my car, he didn't come up over the hood and into my windshield.

I was fine, my car was fine, but I knew the deer wasn't so lucky.

I turned the car around and found the deer laying in the snow on the side of the road. It was obvious he was alive, but not going to recover. This kind of thing happens every day in Maine, but that doesn't take the sickness out of your gut when it happens to you.

I didn't need to report any damage to the car, since there wasn't any, but I needed someone to take care of this suffering creature. I called the sheriff, who connected me to the state police, who told me they'd be there eventually.

A minute later, a guy in a little hatchback pulled over and walked back to my car. He looked vaguely familiar.

"You okay?" he asked. When I said I was fine, he asked if he could have the deer.

If you're not familiar with Maine law, basically if you hit and kill a deer in Maine, you can have the meat, as long as the authorities rule that it was an accident. I told him it was his if he wanted it, but we had to wait for the cops. He was in full agreement.

We had to wait about forty-five minutes for the State Trooper to arrive, since there is -- this is not an exaggeration -- one trooper on duty for the entire county. It's gruesome to say, but I'm glad I wasn't the one bleeding to death.

While we waited, I discovered that the other guy, Josh, was my neighbor's brother-in-law. I'd say small world, but these are the sort of thing you expect to happen in Maine. A while later, Josh's girlfriend arrived in their huge pick-up, trading it for the little car he'd been driving.

Josh was clearly on edge as the deer struggled. Despite injuries that would have sent any human into debilitating shock, the deer kept fighting.

"God, I wish we could just put it out of its misery," Josh said, and he was right. The animal wasn't going to live, and the right thing to do would be to end its suffering as quickly as possible.

All Josh had in his truck was a little Buck knife, and we both knew it was illegal for him to do anything before the police arrive. To make matters worse, the deer got spooked and literally dragged itself across the road, down an embankment, and into the woods. If Josh hadn't jumped into the road as it crossed, waving wildly to slow down an oncoming truck, we would have had an even worse accident on our hands.

When the trooper finally got there, the deer was out of sight in the pitch-black woods. The cop gave Josh the go-ahead to take care of the deer. Josh took my flashlight and his six-inch knife to so something I'm pretty sure I'll never have the stomach for.

It took Josh about fifteen minutes to find the animal in the snow, kill it, and drag it out.

As the trooper and I waited on the road, we discovered that I know his kindergarten son, who goes to my school. They'd moved from Miami to Maine three years ago just because they thought it'd be a great place to live. They hadn't been disappointed.

We chatted about his son's teacher, Mrs. Plummer, who helped organize that great Baby Shower I wrote about yesterday. Small world? Nope, it's just Maine.

Josh got the deer out of the woods, returned my flashlight, and began to load it in his truck. As I got back in my car, Josh yelled out, "Hey, you want some of the meat?"

"Sure."

"I'll bring it by your place," he said.

Just another night in my home state.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Showering at work

12/7/09 Wood burning kit, given away

Today I downsized a wood burning kit by giving it to the children of one of the kindergarten teachers at my school. Abby, Libby, Andrew, and Matthew Fleming gladly accepted the early Christmas gift, and promised not to burn down their house with it. They're good kids; I trust them.

Twenty minutes after parting with that, I was presented with all of this:

Wow.

None of the gifts were really for me, however, so this is not a setback. Rather, my wonderful colleagues at the Guy E. Rowe Elementary School hosted a fantastic baby shower for Joanna and me, at which they showered us with gifts for our son-in-waiting.

It would appear that Chase -- great name, I know -- is not as committed to downsizing as I am, which is fine. I'm not even jealous of the great stuff he got. Plus, when he's not looking, I'm going to read the books anyway.

Appropriately enough, the final gift we opened was a set of blocks from the Flemings. I especially appreciated their handmade card. I promise not to downsize it anytime soon.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Rack 'em up

12/6/09 Two CD racks (one homemade, one store bought), given away on craigslist

Now that I'm on the way to digitizing all of my music, my need for CD racks has been greatly reduced.

I would have guessed that my offer for a free, homemade CD rack on craigslist might have garnered interest from some forty-something dude with the complete works of Led Zeppelin who was working to spruce up his double wide trailer. Who else would have CDs and want to organize them?

The surprise answer was a very polite teen from Gray. My craigslist post only mentioned the CD rack I made, but when he arrived, I remembered I also had a large plastic one in the shed, which I also offered him. He took them both.

"Ah, I can do something with these," he kept saying, as if we were going to redesign them. Maybe he will turn them into iPod racks, which seems more appropriate for 2009.

An iPod rack... hmm, maybe I need to make myself one of those...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Countdown to Christmas

12/5/09 Seven coats, donated to Coats and Toys for Kids

All credit for today's downsize goes to Joanna.

To kick off the Christmas season, Joanna got us tickets to the Portland Ballet Company's production of the Nutcracker. With that on the itinerary, I told Joanna I should do some sort of holiday-themed give-away.

"Channel 6 is doing a coat drive today," she replied. How does this woman know all this stuff?

This morning we went through our closets and managed to collect seven coats we could live without. Truth is, most of them (okay, all but one of them) belonged to Joanna.

One of the coat drop-off locations was right on our way to the ballet. Local news personality Cindy Williams was in there, and she thanked us profusely for our coats. It's always good to brush elbows with the stars while doing good.

With warmed hearts, we zipped (c'mon, it's pun) off to Merrill Auditorium, where we thoroughly enjoyed the Nutcracker, along with a thousand eight-year-old girls dressed in holiday plaid.

Only twenty giving-away days left until Christmas!

Editor's Note, 8/2/10: I'm still kicking myself for this one. This was my best chance to help the Challenge go viral. There I was, downsizing right in front of one of Maine's most well-known television reporters, and I didn't tell her about the blog. Joanna was nudging me the whole time, but I became the shy sixth grader who could only smile and nod. Ah, what could have been...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Car Talk

12/4/09 Mailbox post, given away on Freecycle.org; Massaging, heated seat topper, given away to my brother-in-law

Double downsize today, which brings two things to mind. The first is a story; the second a cautionary tale.

The Story:

We live on a dead-end, private road, so our mailbox is clumped with our neighbor's mailboxes at the top of our street. About two years ago, I pulled alongside the row of mailboxes, as I do most days on the way home from work, rolled down my car window, and reached out to get my mail.

Only there wasn't anything there.

No mail. No mailbox. Not even the post the mailbox is supposed to be mounted on. Just a gaping space between the other mailboxes.

Thank you, local teenagers.

Within a few days, I had gone down to the local hardware store and purchased another mailbox and another post, which I installed back in our USPS designated area.

(By the way, I reported the missing mailbox to my local postmaster, figuring that messing with mailboxes consituted some sort of serious, national crime. She responded with the government's version of "Sucks to be you!"

Thank you, federal bureaucracy.

A couple of months after that, the boy who lives next door delivered my original mailbox post -- with mailbox still attached -- to my driveway. Apparently he'd found it in the woods. No longer needing it, I stored it away in the shed, where it lived until today, when a guy came by and picked it up.

I hope his local teenagers don't find it as appealing as the kids around here did.

The Cautionary Tale:


I bought a massaging chair topper (yes, that's what they are called) for Joanna several years ago, because I thought she might like it in her car. Since she's no fan of Maine winters, I figured she'd especially appreciate the fact that it had a seat-warming function.

Alas, she never really used it, so it was time to offer it to someone else. My brother-in-law Jean has to frequently make the long drive down to Boston, so I figured he might like to give it a try. He seemed interested, and I made sure he understood he couldn't give it back one I handed it off to him. Fortunately, he agreed.

However, I feel I must pass along some sage words of advice that I once heard Click and Clack dispense on Car Talk:
Be very careful when using the heated car seat. After a couple of cups of coffee and a bran muffin, the heated seat can create unexpected and unwelcome problems.
Jean, you've been warned.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Dumb asset

12/3/09 Really great fitting pair of corduroys, trashed

Let's count the reasons I love these pants:
1) Corduroys are definitely back. Trust me.

2) Warmth in the winter.

3) Big pockets. It's amazing what a teacher can accumulate over the course of a day. I came home with a toaster in my pocket last week. Not sure how it got there.

4) Unlike every other pair of paints I own, they are blue. Hey, a guy needs a little variety.

5) One word: roomy.
Let's count the reasons that these pants have to go:
1) The threads are so worn out on the butt that it's buffed to a high sheen and I tend to slip right off chairs. I almost pulled a muscle this morning.
And so, yet another pair of perfectly wearable yet socially unacceptable pair of paints bites the dust. You can just call me Mr. Khaki.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

eBay comes through!

12/2/09 The final three die cast Star Wars vehicles (Millennium Falcon, X-Wing, Landspeeder), sold on eBay for $9.60

Last summer we had a big yard sale. The idea for the Downsizing Challenge was germinating, but hadn't yet sprouted, unfortunately. Thus, all the stuff I got rid of left my possession without proper accounting or credit.

But, no yard sale is 100% successful, and we did have a few things that didn't sell. Among the left-overs was a shoebox full of ten die cast Star Wars vehicles. I'd had them since I was a kid, but since they were smaller than the regular Kenner vehicles and didn't work with the action figures (speaking of which, here's my new favorite blog), I never played with them much.

For the yard sale, I priced them to move, offering up the entire box of ten ships for $10. Who could resist?!?

Shockingly, everyone.

Only one person all day expressed interest, and he tried to talk me down from the already bargain basement price. Actually, when I rejected his first offer, I was sure he'd still snatch them up, or at least come back with a counteroffer. But, he walked away.

Well, today I sold the final die cast ships from that box. While that dude last summer could have had all of them for $10, I sold them in four sets (the other 3 sets are documented here, here, and here) on eBay for a gloriously grand total of $62.50.

My first Star Wars sales on eBay netted me 99 cents. (Relive the excitement here.) My next sale was for $5.50, but I found that whiningly disappointing since the R2-D2 rocket seemed so unique!

eBay rebounded in a big way with the die cast vehicles, however, and I don't even mind that I can't rub it in that yard sale guy's face. The cold, hard cash is enough of a reward. Cha-ching.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Contracted down

12/1/09 The front corner of our house, removed

Yes, this is the way we kick off the fifth month of downsizing: major construction!

Since the day we moved in, we knew the rotting posts that held up our front porch and half of the roof wouldn't last forever. I'm just pleased they managed to last six years.

Now, those posts (and the rest of the porch) are gone. How's that for cleaning out the old? And, I must admit that there's something to be said about paying someone else to do it for you.

In fact, it's making me see the rest of my property in a different light.

Our shed better start treating me right. I'll have 'em rip that sucker down so fast, the shovels will burst into flame...

Monday, November 30, 2009

Culling the collection

11/30/09 Three die cast Star Wars vehicles (Snowspeeder, Y-Wing, Twin-Pod Cloud Car), sold on eBay for $20.75

Today marks the last day of Downsizing Month Four. And, I think it's appropriate that I completed the first third of the challenge by parting with yet another set of Star Wars toys. This lot of cool die cast ships was mailed off to Michigan, where I'm sure their artistry shall be appreciated.

The idea for the Downsizing Challenge grew partially from a longstanding discussion -- yes, I chose that word carefully -- about my world renowned Star Wars collection. Joanna had long suggested that I could part with all these pounds of plastic from my childhood, and even my parents announced this summer that it was time to clean the stuff out of their attic.

I recognized that it would take something drastic (such as a daily deadline to get rid of something) to motivate me to cull the collection. While the vast majority of toys remained safely packed away, I have managed to get rid of more than I might have thought possible just four months ago.

I glanced back over the downsizing annals this evening and did a bit of counting. It turns out that seventeen of my downsizing days have involved old Star Wars items. Even more impressive, the total number of Star Wars things I've parted with is forty-one. Wow, that's pretty good.

And, geek that I am, I am proud to also add that I have taken immense joy from pulling each of these gems out and playing with them one last time before sending them off to other galaxies, far, far away.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

1,000 pounds of downsizing


11/29/09 Sixty-three paver blocks, sold on craigslist for $30

Surprise! It turns out that the cute flower garden built against the foundation of our home was not there to beautify our abode and brighten the front yard. It was there to conceal the fact that the only thing keeping water from flooding into our guest room was a thin sheet of plastic and a piece of plywood.

The water did eventually come in, of course.

It ruined the guest room carpeting about a year after my Dad casually said, "You know, that flower garden probably shouldn't be up against the foundation like that. I'd take it down and see what's going on there."

As usual, I probably should have listened to him sooner.

Fortunately, this repair job coincides with a MUCH LARGER project we've had in mind since the day we moved in. Beginning this week, a construction crew will arrive to not only fix the above-mentioned gaping hole, but to completely rebuild our front porch and entryway. In addition to giving us a screened-in porch and a level, rebuild patio entrance, it will also prevent our entire roof from caving in this winter. So that's a plus.

The trouble-causing garden was of simple construction: five tiers of castle-style paver blocks stacked in a semi-circle against my house. Those paver blocks are now on their way to Turner, ME, where a friendly guy named Paul will use them to build a retaining wall.

Ah, it's good to hear they are finally going to used for good, rather than evil.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

On the fence

11/28/09 Thirteen 4'x4's, sold on craigslist for $20

One of the best things we've done to improve our home is to replace the fence around our pool, which we did two years ago. As we must for any big job, we called my parents into service. They came over and helped us dig the new post holes and erect the new fence. Free labor is the best kind.

The old fence, rotten as it was, required several trips to the dump. However, I saved the fence posts, which were still perfectly good lumber. I stacked them carefully beneath our deck, under the cover of an old tarp left over from our old temporary garage.

I used a few of them, most notably to build a clothesline.

I am loath to give up usable lumber, but it was taking up valuable storage space, and it had "downsize" written all over it.

Today I sold the remaining posts to a personable guy named Greg. He planned, appropriately enough, to use them to build a fence for his dogs. One fence to another, separated by a few years.

It's interesting. That old fence was in such decrepit condition, we couldn't replace it fast enough. And now, parts of it shall create a new fence, perfectly functional and thoroughly economical.

Just as I want to think of myself.

Friday, November 27, 2009

From a different angle

11/27/09 Barrel planter & four pieces of stovepipe, given away on craigslist

A guy named Richard came by this morning to pick up several things I offered for free on craigslist.com. He took four pieces of stovepipe that were in our basement when we moved in. I'll appreciate not tripping over them anymore. I didn't talk to him about what he plans for them, but I assume -- perhaps foolishly -- that it will be something involving a stove.

The other thing he took was an old barrel planter. It was also here when we arrived. I had moved it a few times and had used over the last several years to grow a white pine seedling into a three-foot tree by our front door. Joanna even put red bows on it last Christmas, giving our entrance a very festive look.

Since we're having our entire entry way and front porch rebuilt (gulp!), I needed to move the planter and tree. I transplanted the tree into our yard, discovering in the process that its taproot had gone right through the now-rotten bottom of the planter and down into the ground. It was a chore.

This left me with an old, bottomless planter. I figured it'd roll it elsewhere in the yard and plant some other tree in it, but Joanna gave me a bit of a sideways look when I suggested that plan. And so, onto craigslist it went.

I assumed whoever took it would use it as a planter. Logical enough, right? But Richard had other ideas. He recently planted a lilac bush and needed something to cover it for the winter, to protect it from snow and freezing rain. He figured the planter, flipped upside down and given a new bottom (now, top), would do the trick.

Brilliant!

I love it when people look at something from a different angle and find a new use for it. That's the heart of innovation, and we're all capable of doing it. We just need to open our eyes and our mind, taping into the synergistic coupling of intelligence and creativity.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Thankful

11/26/09 (Small) bottle of wine, consumed

The hardest part of leaving The Big Apple back in 2003 was moving away from great friends. Jason, Jenny, Marc, and Gianna were not only an important part of my life, they were a constant presence in it.

Jason, Marc, and I had our (supposed to be) weekly Boy's Night Out. (During one of which we saw Natalie Portman in the lobby of the movie theater -- Whoo-hoo!) We shared countless dinners, game-nights, and Central Park strolls. Gianna even survived a flaming sambuca incident that the NYPD may still be investigating.

Five months after moving up to Maine, we invited the four of them up to celebrate New Year's Eve in our new home. I wish we could have had them up every year since, but distance is a great logistical roadblock.

When Jason and Jenny arrived, they brought with them a small bottle of apple wine from a winery they had visited in Upstate New York. It was a summer desert wine, so we didn't drink it during their winter visit. We placed it on our dining room bookcase and thought of them each time we looked at it.

For the next seven years. It even still had a fabric bow attached to the neck.

I opened it yesterday and had a glass with dinner. Hey, I figured nothing's better with chili in November than summer apple wine. Today, Joanna prepared the most fabulous Thanksgiving dinner and I polished off the wine with my turkey and stuffing. Don't worry, like I said, the bottle was small.

We love Thanksgiving because it reminds us of how much we have to be grateful for. As I sipped that wine I was reminded of how lucky I am to have amazing, lifelong friends. We live too far away from each other and don't see each other often enough, but our friendship hasn't dimmed in the least.

I know they are always there for me when I need support, reassurance, help, or advice. Actually, right now what I need is another bottle of wine.

You listening, guys?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Coffee break

11/25/09 Two coffee mugs, given away

I completed the Parent/Teacher Organization gift basket trifecta today, donating two mugs to the Maine Basket, to be raffled off in support of the school. Because of my earlier donations to the Family Night Basket and the Outdoor Activity Basket, I can now rest easy at night knowing I've done all I can for the PTO. Whew.

By the way, I'm learning that coffee mugs are the bane of downsizing. We have, as Fletch would say (check out the moment at 2:18 -- it's the best), a tremendous buildup of coffee mugs. We have so many that they occupy parts of three shelves in our cupboards. Unloading the dishwasher is like a ceramic version of reverse Jenga. Not to be crude, but it's a flagon nightmare!

And yet, every one of them has a story, many involving special places we've visited. Every one seems special. We can't just cast them aside like Starbucks to-go cups.

As it is, I couldn't bear to part with our full set of four holiday mugs, since they were a meaningful gift. However, I figured we could deal with the psychic shock of reducing our collection by two, so I took half of the set to school.

How I'm going to part with any of the remaining mugs is beyond me.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Go fly a kite

11/24/09 Two kites, given away

Each morning, on the playground, a kindergarten boy comes up to me and asks, "Can you take your thumb off? Please float! Will you get a quarter out of my ear?"

I'm not just a recess teacher, I'm the research teacher who does magic. To the delight of easy-to-fool five-year-olds everywhere I can do this and this and I'm working on this. It's just one of the many joys of teaching that has nothing to do with teaching.

I'm also a world class swing-pusher, able to get thirty kids chanting "We love to write!" within twenty seconds, and could go professional as a kick-ball pitcher.

A few years ago, my Aunt Karen gave Joanna and me two kites for Easter. Believe it or not, we don't spend a lot of time kite-flying, so I took them to school. I didn't have lunchtime recess duty last year, but I kept an eye out for good kite-flying days. I managed to get out there a few times and launch the kites, which is no easy feat on our school playground. However, trust me when I tell you that the reaction of elementary school kids when a kite takes off is well worth the wait. For a few minutes, I was the Pied Piper of Norway, Maine.

Today, I added those gently-used kites to the Outdoor Activity Basket that our Parent/Teacher Organization is raffling off. I'm sure whoever wins them shall fly them gloriously.

Now, I need to figure out how to shake up recess tomorrow...

Monday, November 23, 2009

KiwiWookiee

11/23/09 Three die cast Star Wars vehicles, sold on eBay for $27

I'm a bit sad that these three cool Star Wars toys are going to see New Zealand before I do. A bidder on eBay with the name KiwiWookiee -- how appropriate! -- bought them. I packaged them up today and mailed them off on a journey longer than any I've ever taken.

Farewell, childhood toys! Travel safely!

I hope they at least send a postcard.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Work OUT

11/22/09 VCR, given away

Is life a zero-sum game? If something is going really well, does that mean something else needs to go particularly badly? If you increase one thing, do you have to decrease another thing? If you give away one thing, do you need to acquire something else?

I'm banking that the answer to the last question is no, and I want to believe that's also the case for the rest of them.

So many things are going incredibly well for me right now. Downsizing has turned out to be a delightful challenge, I continue to grow and learn from my job and -- by far most importantly -- we have a baby boy on the way. All of that is wonderful.

However, while the plus side of the ledger is full, there has been a notable deduction on the negative side.

In terms of physical fitness, I've fallen off the wagon. I've always been a pretty regular runner, and fairly frequent gym-goer. Without making excuses, I shall admit that the last nine months have been an absolute work-out black hole. I've never gone this long without regular exercise, and it's showing. (Thus, my sympathetic pregnancy.)

We do have a delightful local gym, BKD Fitness Center, owned and operated by Eric, who also serves with me on the Board of Trustees of the Casco Public Library. As Eric and I chatted near the DVD/VHS selection at the Library last month, he mentioned that he needed a new VCR.

Today, after our monthly Library Board meeting, I took one of our old VCRs over to the gym. (Let's be honest, do Joanna and I really need more than one? As we've already covered here and here, VHS tapes are very much on the way out.) It was the first time I've been in the gym in months, and I didn't linger.

While I'm glad Eric and his family will get some use out of the VCR, I'm most pleased that at least I have a proxy at the gym. Sure hope that VCR keeps running -- I'm sure not.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Paper trail

11/21/09 Bag 'o bills, recycled

I've developed a simple, elegant filing system. Once an important bill is paid, I first put the documentation into a large box.

Then I wait a really long time.

Finally, I look back over the stuff in the box. If enough time has passed, the bills are so irrelevant, there's no need to actually file them. Just throw them in with the recycling.

What about the paperwork that still shouldn't be tossed? I don't do anything hasty, like actually filing it. I put it back in the box and resume waiting.

It's an ingenious system, really.