Photo finish, part V

4/30/10 Pictures and cards, recycled

Well look at this, even my Beautiful Bride is getting into the act. After my most recent purge, I set aside some of Joanna's pictures and cards for her to look through. She quickly -- and rightly -- decided that after savoring them for one last moment, they could leave our lives forever. The Casco Transfer Station shall process a lot of photo prints this weekend.

I need to note that after my last picture downsize, in which I made light of sentimentality, my mother expressed concern. I believe she was worried I was turning stone-hearted, tossing all connections to the past to the side.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I have many cherished memories, I just don't need to keep photos as a markers of them. Actually, I DO keep photos, and I have saved many this week. But, I've changed my thinking. While I used to keep every picture, now I force myself to make decisions. What I have done through these recent downsizes is been thoughtful and selective about what I saved.

Is being sentimental a good thing? What does it mean to be sentimental?

When I mocked the idea of sentimentality, it was mostly a joke. (Yes, I admit it, I usually just go for the cheap laughs.) However, as I think deeper about it, maybe the joke also held a lot of truth. I'm not so sure sentimentality is a virtue to be praised.

Any thoughts, Dear Readers?

Fleeting awards

4/29/10 "Best Director" award, trashed

For four years I have been involved with our school district's student film festival, the last two as a co-director. Tonight was the awards ceremony, which included a record 219 students who were responsible for creating thirty-two films. Great stuff: everyone broke a leg.

The event is quite an affair, with limos and classic cars escorting students across the high school parking lot to a red carpet, where they are photographed and interviewed before entering the auditorium. I'll also admit that I love it because it's the one time each year that I actually get to wear my tuxedo.

I knew today would be whirlwind and that I'd be getting home late (I dragged myself in at 10:41 PM), so I had a downsize set for autopilot. A guy was supposed to come on his own and pick up a pile of bricks from my driveway. Problem solved.

And then I got his email that he hadn't been able to come because of car trouble.

Fortunately, a solution presented itself. Since I'm leaving the district after this year, the founding director of the festival presented me with trophy of appreciation at the end of the awards. A thoughtful gesture and one I certainly appreciate.

But, circumstances leave me with no choice but to rapidly downsize it.

For over two hours I had gold-plated plastic proving I was a "Best Director." But, like Steven Spielberg, John Ford, and Frank Capra, I hardly feel that I need a statuette to buttress my accomplishments.

Photo finish IV

4/28/10 Pictures, postcards, letters, and assorted memorabilia, recycled

Dear Sentimentality,

I mock you.

Sincerely,
Reed

Photo Finish III

4/27/10 Photo album and most of its pictures, recycled

Repeat after me:

I do not need two dozen different pictures of an event that happened twenty years ago.

I do not need pictures of people whose names I can't remember.

I do not need pictures of someone I went on one date with.

I do not need out-of-focus, poorly composed, random pictures of places I visited when I was seventeen.

I do not need pictures of friends who are covering their faces so I cannot see who they are.

I do not need five different pictures of the same two people in the same place.

I do not need to feel guilty about downsizing pictures.

And finally:

I do not need pictures when memories are richer, more satisfying, and occupy far more valuable space.

Photo finish

4/26/10 Photo album and most of the pictures in it, recycled

I'm on a roll with photo downsizing, now.

I sure hope entire photo albums can be recycled, because these priceless memories should not end up in a landfill. Instead, they should be recycled into highly functional and environmentally friendly products. Such as toilet paper.

Tonight's photo album covered 1994 & 1995, I believe. My first years teaching. Believe it or not, there are a few precious moments I want to hold onto from my early days as a teacher. Based on the number of pictures I saved, I'd say I treasure about six percent of those memories.

The rest? They'll make some fine paper towels, I'm sure.

Junk yard inventory

4/25/10 Bunch of "scraps," trashed

Let's take an inventory of what I hauled to the dump today, why I had it, and what shall be lost with its departure:

1) Old Blue Tarp. This tarp was in the shed when we moved into this house. (Another gift from the generous Mr. Zipkin.) Even seven years ago it was not in good shape, but I've still put it to use in myriad ways. Most often it served as a cover on one wood pile or another. During the last few years, I had to only cover wood that I didn't really want to keep dry, since it had so many holes and was so porous, it was basically like using a giant Kleenex.

2) Two Mostly-Empty Buckets of Joint Compound. The larger bucket was also abandoned by Mr. Zipkin when he vacated 34 Lukes Road, but I did use a fair amount of it for various wall repairs over the last few years. The smaller bucket was one I bought several years ago, probably for our big bathroom renovation. When I opened them the other day, the remaining compound in each was rock hard and useless.

3) Several PVC Tubes. Guess who left these behind when he moved? Bing! Bing! Bing! You're right: that Zipkin fellow. I never found a good use for them and they've just been taking up shed space for seven years.

4) Section of Water-Resistant Drywall. Believe it or not, I bought this myself. I used most of it when we remodeled our upstairs bathroom for the area above the shower. When I finally got rid of all that other drywall, I actually encouraged the guy to NOT take this, since it was a "specialty product." What a stupid move that was.

5) Modified Shower Curtain Rod. When we were in the process of replacing our tub and sink, we had a week or so when the walls weren't done so I couldn't mount the new curtain rod. However, the old curtain rod (purchased by the ever generous Mr. Zipkin) was too short to work, so I needed to insert a dowel to lengthen it. It did a fine job of holding the shower curtain for that time while the renovation was happening. Then, of course, I held onto it for safe keeping for several more years.

6) Drywall Corner Bead. Also left over from the bathroom upgrade. Perfectly good and usable, but I was on a roll today.

7) Pickup Truck Bed Liner. You may find this hard to believe, Dear Readers, but this gem was left behind by Mr. Zipkin. What you may find harder to believe is that I've found several uses for this over the years. When we had a portable garage, I used it as a sort of floor so certain things I stored out there wouldn't sit directly on the ground. I also cut pieces off at times when I needed a little section of rubber, as we all often do. Most recently, it spent the winter outside our front door, since our brick patio had been torn up and not replaced with the fine stone patio that went in this spring.

Useful items, all. Sorry to see them go.

So's Mr. Zipkin, I'm sure.

Picture the future

4/24/10 Many, many, many photographs, recycled

Spent a very enjoyable hour on the couch going through three old photo albums, which roughly covered the years 1994-1998. The irony, of course, is that if I weren't planning on throwing most of the photos away, I wouldn't have spent the time looking through them.

Letting things go is getting easier and easier.

I kept about twenty percent of the pictures, enough to remember the big events and fun times. I also set aside another twenty percent or so to give to some of the other people in the shots. I hope those folks have the good sense to enjoy the pictures as they flip through them, and then to toss them away.

The rest were thrown into the recycle bin; I'll take them off to the dump tomorrow.

While I spent this evening looking back at the past, most of the rest of the day was occupied looking firmly into the future.

My other downsize of the day consisted of one thousand of our hard-earned dollars, sent in the form of a check to Colorado. At the risk of jinxing the situation, I'm happy to announce that Joanna and I have made a rather momentous decision. (Chase was in on it, too, although he doesn't really know it.)

The cool grand was a deposit on a home we are having built in Denver. If you can't find the perfect place, might as well have them create it from the ground up. If you'd like a tour, click here, then choose the Willow model.

We plan to make many fantastic memories in that house. Might even take a few pictures.

Mom leaves, Linda returns

4/23/10 Flower vase, given away to Mom; Seven bags of Christmas items and large box of bows, given away on craigslist

Tonight, as we enter the last 100 days of the Downsizing Challenge, we have downsizing in two parts:

One
After spending five days with Joanna and Chase while I was in Denver, my Mom finally had to return to her own home. As a parting thank-you, Joanna bought a bouquet of flowers, which we placed in a large green vase. That vase, appropriately enough, had been given to us by my parents at our baby shower, when it held an amaryllis bulb. The flower brightened our kitchen through Chase's first few weeks.

Joanna loves flowers, but we already have plenty of vases. Once the amaryllis had gone by, we decided that large vase was a good candidate for downsizing, even if Joanna would prefer to have it stuffed with a fresh-cut bouquet each night. And so, it became part of a small gesture of appreciation for all Mom has done for us this week. Thanks.

Two
We continue to cull Christmas items in The Great Christmas Downsize. We had identified three large bins worth of holiday cheer that A) We didn't want, and B) We didn't think anyone would pay anything for. I put them up for free on craigslist where, unsurprisingly, they generated immediate interested.

When Linda arrived to pick up the Christmas stuff, she recognized me before I recognized her. However, as soon as we began to chat, I immediately remembered her from the hummingbird feeder downsize back in October. She's full of energy and enthusiasm, and it's a joy giving her stuff. Especially stuff I don't want any more.

Plus, if you're after wickless candles, she's your source. Click here to check out her website.

So, a double downsize to celebrate having only double-digit days to go in the challenge. If things get tough on the home stretch, I just may need to call Mom and Linda in for a little help.

Mom, Sweet Mom

4/22/10 Various Christmas items, given away

I returned home today to find my Beautiful Bride and Brilliant Boy in the wonderful care of my Marvelous Mother.

Mom has been staying with Joanna and Chase while I was in Denver, helping out as only she can. She is the best live-in-Nanna any family could have. She even decided to stay tonight, even though I am home, to get a little more time with her grandson.

In addition to laundry, dishes, cleaning, babysitting, and even helping to pack up dishes for our eventual move, Mom helped out with downsizing tonight. Flying across country doesn't make downsizing easy, so I needed the assistance. Plus, with Mom's help tonight, we've reached another milestone: there are only 100 days left in the Downsizing Challenge.

How did she help? Not only did she take a few Christmas decorations off our hands, she even insisted that I get a wacky picture of her.

Now, that's a face to return home to.

Leggo my Lego

4/21/10 Greatest Gifts Ever Given to Two Boys (Star Wars Legos, Yoda soap, Star Wars collectible metal trading cards, Star Wars t-shirt, bag of magical gemstones, and -- best of all -- Yoda encased in soap), given away

Closed my final evening in Denver by giving away a bag of goodies to Marc and Gianna's sons, Caleb and Sam. Like any properly-raised children, these boys have a deep appreciation for Star Wars. The fantastic things about involving kids in downsizing is that they get really excited about things that adults might just throw away.

(Okay, I admit it, I would never throw away ANYTHING related to Star Wars, but you get the point.)

Caleb and Sam did get excited. Indeed, I challenge anyone to show me a three-year-old as interested in soap as Sam was about that Yoda soap. And, long after they were supposed to be in bed, Caleb was still yelling from his bedroom that he couldn't find the Lego Darth Vader. Yes, it was a crisis.

Tomorrow, I jump on a plan and return to my Beautiful Bride and Brilliant Son in Maine. Ah, how I look forward to that reunion. The long-distance downsizing will be done for this trip, I leave Denver behind (for now), and it's back to life as usual.

As long as that life involves my wife and kid, that's great with me.

More disposable clothes

4/20/10 Shirt, trashed

I find when you have a busy day, it's best to just discard your shirt afterward, especially if you're away from home.

My Denver stay continued with meetings in the morning and house hunting all afternoon. Thus, my shirt has served its purpose: I wore it as I did work for my future employer and toured my future house in it. (We could well buy one of those houses.)

That's about all one can expect out of a shirt.

Wine & cheese party

4/19/10 Cheese & cracker tray & two tennis balls, given away

Although I greatly missed my beautiful bride and brilliant son, I had an enjoyable and highly productive day in Denver. The workday was spent in strategic planning for the school where I will work next year; an exercise both inspiring and daunting.

Happy coincidence also conspired to bring me here on my boss, colleague, and friend Gianna's birthday. As the mother of two young boys, she made the fine choice of requesting a pink Power Ranger cake, which I am devouring as I write this. (Note the interesting misspelling of her name on the cake. Her kids took great delight in calling her "Tianna" all evening.)

Let it not be said, however, that I am a party crasher. I brought gifts!

First, I came equipped with two tennis balls; one each for Marc and Gianna's dogs, Obi and Slugger. Huge hit, I assure you. Dogs are so easy to buy for.

Secondly, I came equipped with a piece of original, Mary Dyer art: a "slumped'" wine bottle that serves as a classy wine and cracker tray. Gianna, woman of sophistication that she is, accepted the gift with graciousness and will, I have no doubt, put it to frequent use.

This downsize falls into one of those slight gray areas. The cheese tray was actually a piece that I commissioned Mom to do a few years ago with the intention of giving it to Gianna and Marc. (Stay tuned to future posts for other variations on this theme.) However, the tray ended up forgotten in a bag in The Dreaded Basement. I discovered it just last week, and realized that my Denver trip was the perfect opportunity to actually get it into the hands of those it was destined for.

Here's my best rationale for counting it as a downsize: If I were not attacking The Dreaded Basement with all the downsizing furry of a man possessed, the cheese tray could have well stayed down there forever.

Instead, it made a convenient little gift. Happy Birthday, Gianna.

Travellin' Man

4/18/10 Big bin of "Stuff", trashed

I write this sitting in Terminal C of Newark Airport. (I know, Dear Readers -- you're jealous.) I'm heading out to Denver for four days to do some work for my future school and to house-hunt. Unfortunately, this means I have left my brilliant son and beautiful bride behind, so I am already counting the hours until my return.

It also means that I'm back to "Downsizing on the Road," something I've become quite adept at over the last 261 days. (I would provide links to previous posts to prove my point, but that's too tricky to do when I'm writing the blog on my iPhone.)

You'll see over the next four days how I manage to get rid of stuff while 2,000 miles from Casco, but today's downsize was taken care of by an early-morning trip to the dump.

At some point in the last 100 days of the challenge I'll need to wax philosopic on the moral, environmental, and logistical issues of downsizing-via-trashing. Indeed as the pace picks up with our approaching move, I fear this will become a more frequent method of disposal.

For today, however, I shall accept the warm feeling of satisfaction that comes from ridding The Dreaded Basement of yet another bin of cargo.

And I shall try to ignore the sadness of temporarily downsizing myself from my own home and family for the week.

Record Store Day

4/17/10 Fifty-two CDs, sold at Bull Moose Music for $57.66; Five sets of Christmas lights and two picture frames, given away.

Time to step it up a notch. Our house, which we've had on the market for about a month, is now under contract. If all goes well with inspections, we'll be moving out in just five weeks. Oh boy, I've got a lot of downsizing to do.

Today, I did a double shot.

First, a bit of serendipity. Joanna said we needed to head to Windham on some errands, so I decided to download some of my CDs to my computer and sell the actual discs down at Bull Moose Music. No sooner had I started to download music then I heard on the radio that today was Record Store Day, an event to celebrate and support independent music stores. Cool.

Bull Moose Music is one of the truly great independent stores, and I enjoyed a live acoustic performance as the clerk scanned my CDs. The place was packed with music lovers, some of whom were actually buying vinyl records. I didn't buy anything (hey, this is a DOWNSIZING blog), but I did leave with a smile on my face and $57.66 in my pocket.

A day ago I posted a listing on craigslist for a bunch of Christmas stuff I wanted to give away. Today, Ashley emailed me, saying that she was interested in the Christmas lights to use at her wedding. That set the wheels in my head spinning, and I dug out a few picture frames I thought newlyweds might be able to put to use. Sure enough she took those, too.

Not much time left in this house or in this challenge. Going to need to double-down more often.

It's a Wonderful Life

4/16/10 Longaberger basket, wine caddy, bottle of wine, and two cheese knives, given away

Had to dust off an old housewarming ritual today. You remember the scene from It's a Wonderful Life:

Mary: Bread... that this house may never know hunger.
[Mary hands a loaf of bread to Mrs. Martini]
Mary: Salt... that life may always have flavor.
[Mary hands a box of salt to Mrs. Martini]
George Bailey: And wine... that joy and prosperity may reign forever. Enter the Martini Castle.
[George hands Mr. Martini a bottle of wine]

Our friends Jason and Naomi invited us over to their new home tonight, so we needed to combine proper guest etiquette with downsizing. Frank Capra to the rescue!

The bread and salt (don't worry -- I bought those for the occasion) I put in a basket that I had made nine years ago at the Longaberger factory in Ohio. Yeah, I get around.

The wine was a bottle I purchased months ago but realized I likely won't drink before we move, given I'm the only imbiber in the household. We put the bottle into a spiffy wine caddy that materialized around here some time ago.

For good measure, Joanna brought some cheese and two cheese knives from our large cutlery collection. Okay, there's no cheese in the movie, but I like to imagine George and Mary accompanying Mr. and Mrs. Martini into their new home for some Depression-era brie on crackers.

In return, Jason, Naomi, and little Maddie (born a year to the day before Chase) gave us a wonderful evening of conversation, friendship, and hospitality.

So we returned richer than we left.

The Odyssey

4/15/10 Couch, given away on craigslist

This may well prove to be the hardest downsize of them all.

I argued with Joanna when she first suggested that we should downsize the couch. It used to be in her father's office, and when we moved to Maine he offered it to us. Turns out it was made by the Hickory Chair Company in North Carolina. Go ahead, click on that link -- you'll be impressed by their stuff.

This was a high-quality couch. Comfortable and custom-made. Then our cats used it as a scratching post. Eventually, the couch made its way from our living room to the guest room (better known as The Storage Room).

Joanna said we should get rid of it. I argued that it was the most valuable single possession we owned (click on that link up there: Hickory Chair sofas go for three grand!). The compromise was that I'd downsize it, but I was going to make some money on the deal.

The clock started on September 21, when I took pictures of the couch and put it up on craigslist for the bargain basement price of $400. No takers. A month later I tried again, for $250. No luck. Time to switch gears.

I put it up on ebay for $50, pick-up-only. I got one "watcher" (you ebay folks will know what that means), but no bids. A few weeks later, I re-listed it on ebay for $25. Silence.

"Just give it away," Joanna moaned. I begged for more time.

Time for some psychology. People respond to deadlines, so I'd create one.

This time, when I put it up on Craigslist, I ended the description with this note: $25 or best offer received by Saturday, Feb. 27.

And someone responded! Yes, it was a huge loss, but I was going to get $25 for that dang couch after five months of trying. But then, the woman who replied to my posting said she had to get a truck. And then she had some kind of crisis. And then she stopped answering my emails. Another bust.

Still, the slight nibble made me think I was onto something. I reposted the ad on craigslist, changing the deadline to March 27. Nobody responded.

"I've got a former student who wants it. Let's just give it away," Joanna pleaded.

I was defeated. "Fine."

Joanna arranged with her student to come pick it up. There, it was done. The Great Coach Downsizing Quest was finally going to end. But, he didn't show. And he didn't return her emails. The couch remained in the guest room.

Clearly, the thing was cursed.

Now, Dear Readers, if you have been paying attention to the blog, there is one thing we have all learned: that when you offer something for free, suddenly people come out of the woodwork, knocking each other over to get it. Look back over the archives: I've put some serious crap up for free and had dozens of responses within hours.

I posted the couch for free on craigslist and waited for my email inbox to overflow. And waited. Two days later, I got a response from a lady who said she'd be interested, but she had to find someone with a truck. (Let's be honest, folks: when was the last time anyone "found" a truck. This woman was never going to show.)

Days passed. The couch was mocking me now, sneering at me in all its Southern superiority.

Then Stu came to the rescue.

Here's what I can tell you about Stu.
• He's living at his camp after divorcing his wife, and all he has to sleep on out there is a five-foot love seat.
• He has a heck of a big truck.
• He's got two buddies who look like hard-working, unpretentious guys. (One had a classic old Patriots satin jacket on. Cool.)
• He not only wanted the couch, he actually showed up to get it, loaded it himself, and thanked me a dozen times.

The final indignity came a half hour before Stu arrived.

"Jo, we need a family portrait on that couch."

I set up the self-timer on the camera, Joanna came down with Chase, and I prepared to grab the cats, who were both right there in the guest room. As you know from many previous downsize pictures, the cats are ALWAYS around when I'm ready to snap a photo. You can't keep these cats off of you or anything you are photographing.

So, fittingly, as I tried to grab them for the picture, they scattered, running away and hiding like they did that time... oh, no, they've NEVER done that. Yep, that couch was cursed. Screw the cats, we look better without them anyway.

And then Stu arrived.

In what is a personal downsizing record, after nearly seven months of trying, the couch is finally gone.

Stu, I am indebted to you. You certain got your money's worth.

I've seen the light

4/14/10 One lamp, four compact fluorescent light bulbs, three spotlights, donated to Guy E. Rowe Elementary School; five decorative light bulbs, trashed

When I first moved into my office at school seven years ago, I brought along a lamp to give my workspace better light. Since that date, the bulb has blown a few times, and each time our custodian gave me a new one.

But now, times are tough all over.

When the bulb popped yesterday afternoon I knew immediately it was no good asking Terry for a replacement. In a district that is facing serious lay-offs and programmatic cut-backs, I knew better than to expect there'd be any extra light bulbs sitting around.

No problem. I knew I had light bulbs at home, and even thought it would be a good idea to replace the broken incandescent one with one of those newfangled CFLs. You know me: always saving the planet.

When I went into the basement last night and pulled down an entire box full of light bulbs, I suddenly had a downsizing epiphany: why not give almost all of my light bulbs to the school? If all goes according to plan, we'll be moving out of this house within two and a half months. I surely won't use a dozen light bulbs in that time. I quickly sorted through them, set aside a few to keep just in case, and brought the rest to school this morning.

When I screwed one of them into my lamp, I decided, right then and there, to donate the lamp to the school, as well. (Or, more precisely, to the next inhabitant of my office.) I had a little ceremony of one, and the lamb was officially downsized.

I also had a few chandelier bulbs that I don't think I could ever find a home for, so I tossed those in my garbage can.

A few minutes later, Terry had accepted the rest of the bulbs, and I'd done my little part for education.

Probably could have justified taking the rest of the day off, but I decided to stick around and do some teachin' as well. There's more than one way to help out a school.

Crossing the River Jordan

4/13/10 Moses Basket, returned

The Cajun Critter continues to grow.

Since his first day home, one of our most-used baby items has been a Moses Basket, lent to us by my cousin Amy. He slept in it frequently, and it was our main changing station.

No more. He's too big for it.

Today, Joanna drove down to Portland to meet up with some other new mothers and their not-as-cute-as-Chase babies. She took the Moses Basket back to Mercy Hospital, which is not only our son's birthplace, but also where Amy works. Amy will now going to hand the basket off to another set of parents for their newborn.

May they find it as valuable as we did. Thanks, Amy!

Last supper

4/12/10 Nine (crafty and useful) corks, trashed

Those of you, Dear Readers, who are longtime followers of the blog (and I do appreciate all two of you!) have likely been wondering if I'd ever do another cork downsize. Wait no more!

Actually, these little numbers hardly qualify as corks, since they transcended their bottle-stopping role long ago. I'd seen various bangles that you can place on wine glasses to differentiate them at a party. My idea, all irony aside, was to make my own, using corks. I drilled holes in the corks, inserted rubber bands, and -- presto! -- every dinner guest can personalize their wine glass. No more accidentally sucking the dregs out of someone else's glass at the Dyer-Payne household.

I'm really good at solving non-existent problems.

I'm also rather optimistic about projecting the guestlist at our parties. We've rarely had nine people over here at once, and we've certainly never had nine people simultaneously drinking wine. In five years, I've pulled the corks out two or three times, and that was for show. I have to admit that when you're entertaining just one other couple, it's pretty easy for everyone to keep track of their own glassware.

Tonight was the best night to bid adieu to the corks, since we got as close as we ever do to a dinner party. Grandpas Fred and Laurent wrapped up their visit with Chase by cooking up a marvelous meal of scallops, asparagus, and whoopee pies. I cracked open a bottle of Fat Cat wine -- I have a strict wine-buying policy: only buy bottles with a picture of an animal on the label -- and we toasted to a great visit. Thanks to the corks, everyone safely stuck to their own glass.

After dinner, I unceremoniously said goodbye to the corks by tossing them all in the garbage.

Seeing Fred and Laurent off will be much tougher.

Praying for sheetrock

4/11/10 Several panels of sheetrock, as well as other assorted drywall materials, given away

It's gone, it's finally gone. After multiple failed attempts to downsize it, the sheetrock (drywall, really) has left the building.

I'd originally tried to sell it for $10, but that proved a lesson in frustration as Sheetrock Dude kept standing me up. Then, I put it up for free on craigslist, where I knew I'd get plenty of responses. Indeed, before I pulled the posting eighteen hours later, I had a dozen inquiries.

Most of those replies were the usual, rude craigslist responses to offers of free stuff:

"I want it. Tell me where I can get it. Here's my number. Call me."

I don't know if it's just me, but if someone's offering something for free, you could probably have the courtesy to write a friendly email to get it.

However, one response did stand out. It was from a family whose autistic son had caused some damage to their rental, and they needed to fix it before moving out. It sounded like they could use a hand, and they took the time to explain why they wanted the sheetrock. I'm a softy for a good story. I told them they were welcome to as much of the stuff as they wanted.

After offering that, I realized that I could actually set them up with almost everything they needed to do the job: joint compound, dryway knives, tape measure, drywall tape, utility knife. An entire project worth of downsizing!

Today, they arrived to get the drywall and enthusiastically accepted the other items. (Although I messed up and forgot to offer the drywall screws and Reader's Digest Home Repair Manual. Come back!)

I was sceptical that they'd be able to take much of the drywall in their minivan, since the full-size panels were way too big to slide inside. However, they were quite resourceful, and cut the panels into pieces small enough to fit. Since they are repairing holes rather than hanging new walls, I suppose it should work just fine.

Best of all? I actually received a thank-you email earlier this evening. Now, that's the way a free transaction on craigslist should go down. Although, to be honest, it feels so good to have all those panels out of the basement that I really need to be thanking them.

The wrong Portland

4/10/10 Bag of clothing & bag of linens, donated to Salvation Army

Downsizing big bags of clothing is actually very satisfying, since they take up so darn much space. The bag we jettisoned today was filled with Joanna's clothes, who is always good at getting rid of unused clothing when the seasons change.

I'm good at getting rid of old sheets and pillow cases, it just takes six months. I've had a large plastic bin with unwanted linens since October in The Dreaded Basement.

Today, we needed to vacate the house, since a broker was coming to show it to potential buyers. (Anyone out there want to buy a great log home, complete with in-ground swimming pool? It's a steal of a price!) With Fred as a chauffeur, Laurent as our conversationalist (albeit in American Sign Language), and the need to go somewhere, it seemed like a good time to head for some donation center.

As usual, the challenge was finding an interesting downsizing destination. If I instinctively knew the best way to give away the linens, I would have done it back in 2009. I spent a half hour on the computer this morning researching charities. A study in frustration.

I thought I'd made a major breakthrough when I stumbled upon a blog that linked to dozens of Portland charities. One of them was an organization that provided temporary housing for homeless children, and the professional-looking website asked specifically for bedding. Bingo!

Then I realized that the charity was in Portland, Oregon, not Portland, Maine. Ugh.

In the end, I just punted, dropping the stuff off at the Salvation Army store in Raymond, a few miles from my house.

Not an inspired choice, I admit, but we had lunch, a walk, and some window shopping in our sights. Not every downsize can be an award-winner.

And, now I have one less bin in the basement. What I sacrificed in inspiration, I guess I made up in storage space. Yep, that's a trade-off I'm willing to accept.

Film noir

4/9/10 VHS copies of Gladiator, All the President's Men, & The Magnificent Seven, given away

Normally I would be quite peeved to have the planned sheetrock downsize fall through for a third -- yes, THIRD -- time. However, we are so flush with Grandpas around here right now that any anger I could possibly have has dissipated.

Fred and Laurent arrived this afternoon to visit Chase for the first time. Their decision to land here on a day when my planned downsize fell through (again), necessitated their involvement in the challenge.

Fortunately, Fred is a film fanatic (and alliteration fan?), so I hauled up our box of unwanted movies, and he quickly selected three that he figured would be worth a re-watch.

"Classics all," he said, then revised: "Well, maybe not Gladiator."

I could have rid myself of Airport, too, except that it didn't have closed captioning. I thought the ADA had some kick to it, but this one slipped through, and we're all the poorer for it. Laurent can't enjoy the movie and I can't get rid of it.

Nonetheless, I consider this movie-purge as a successful last-minute downsize.

Plus, now that we've officially welcomed Fred and Laurent to the Downsizing blog, we can move onto the bigger challenge: getting them into The Chase Report. Stay tuned.

Diaper dandy

4/8/10 Twelve cloth diapers and three diaper covers, sold for $60

The little boy is getting bigger. He has officially outgrown the smallest size of cloth diapers and we have moved on to the next stage. Our small set left with Joanna's friend Lori who, despite the $60, is getting a heck of a deal. Those cloth diapers are expensive!

In the long run, of course, using cloth diapers is cheaper than buying diaposables and a whole lot more friendly to the world. I can't imagine throwing out a dozen (or more -- this guy knows how to do his business!) diapers every day. That's a type of downsizing I'm happy to avoid.

By the way, for those of you who may protest that cloth diapers aren't all that environmentally friendly, either, since water needs to be used to wash them, here's a little factoid for you: more water is used in the production of a single disposable diaper than for washing an entire load of cloth diapers.

Hey, we shouldn't downsize water recklessly, either.

Coffee talk II

4/7/10 Four coffee mugs, trashed or recycled

"Jo, you're not going to like this," I whined over dinner, "but can I downsize one of your coffee mugs?"

"Which one?"

"The fish one."

"The fish one?"

"Yeah, you know, that ugly one with the cartoon fish on it."

"That? Sure. In fact, get rid of a bunch of mugs tonight."

I love this woman.

Heavy metal

4/6/10 Random scrap metal, trashed

I feel bad about the amount of downsizes I done that involve throwing items away. As of today, forty-five days have been devoted to tossing stuff. To assuage some of my guilt, I need to express the fact that it's not easy to trash things.

First, I sort of feel like I'm betraying the planet. That's bad enough.

But then, there's the actual logistics of tossing stuff, which are often tricky.

For example, at the Casco/Naples Transfer Station (aka "The Dump"), the paper/plastic/glass recycling and household garbage area is a simple drive-up affair. I pull up to the bins, throw in my stuff, and I'm off.

But, the Bulky Waste area is another story. You need to drive into Bulky Waste past a little guard station, where your car is weighed. When you leave, your car is weighed again, and you're charged based on how much weight you left behind. What complicates it is that there are different charges for different items. Most items cost $20 per ton to dispose of. But, brush and branches are half that, and metal is free.

If you drive in there with a mixed load, you literally need to go back to get weighed (which also means waiting in a car line as if you're on the Garden State Parkway) every time you drop something from one category. That's such a hassle, that it's only worth taking one kind of bulky waste per day.

Today was metal day. I'd been collecting various nuts & bolts, broken fasteners, giant springs, old fence posts, and the like in a corner of my shed. Today I took them to the dump and finally rid myself of them.

As I took the above picture one of the guys who works there came up and asked me, "What's that picture for?" They always act like everyone is trying to somehow scam the dump.

As usual, I gave my enthusiastic explanation of the Downsizing Challenge. I've been doing the challenge for more than eight months and I've explained it a hundred times. The response is almost universally supportive and positive.

The dump guy scowled, as if he had a sudden bowel cramp, and then just turned and walked away.

Guess that's what you call getting dumped on.

Warmonger

4/5/10 Old documents, recycled

Made further progress on my school office today. Downsizing is a war that must be waged on two fronts: home and office. I feel like France, and I'm about to start digging trenches.

My big office file purge last month took care of a lot of the big guns, but a few shots are left to be fired. I had set aside a few files that I couldn't just throw out, since some documents needed to be preserved.

This afternoon, during my lunch break, I went through those files and pulled out all the duplicate and unnecessary pulp. In battle you've got to drop extra weight whenever possible. I was left with a few streamlined files that took up 1/3 the space they previously had.

I'm calling it a small victory.

Judas

4/4/10 Jesus pen, trashed

I didn't want to downsize Jesus on Easter. Honestly, I didn't.

The sheetrock dude left me no choice when he stood me up for a second time. After he missed the first appointment, I got an email that used the word "sorry" three times in three sentences. Then, today, he doesn't show up, again. Guess he wasn't so sorry. What would Jesus do? He surely wouldn't wait for this dude to get his act together. Anybody want some sheetrock?

I had no time to worry about building supplies today anyway, as I spent most of the day grading papers for the graduate class I teach. Each paper was accompanied by a 20-minute (or so) teaching video, so it wasn't a process that could be rushed.

Ironically, as we held yesterday's day-before-Easter party, I came upon a Jesus pen that my friend Marc had given me as a joke. Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: a ballpoint pen with a little Jesus figure on the top.

Religious artifact or blasphemy? You make the call.

My aversion to almost all kinds of ballpoint pens is well documented, but this certainly seemed like a sign from above. Jesus pen spent the day in my hand, furiously scribbling feedback on papers about teaching writing to primary students. It remains to be seen if those comments were Divinely Inspired.

Alas, the time on this earth is fleeting, even for Jesus. He did Supreme work today, but now has gone to his final resting place in the trash. Or is it?

I can't wrap this up without pointing out the little detail that made this pen priceless. Look closely: Jesus is wearing a cross around his neck. That's some screwed up religious imagery if I ever saw it. What was the guy who made that thinking?

And you thought I was sacrilegious!

Easter Saturday

4/3/10 Five cookie/candy tins, given away

Isn't it wonderful how holidays, family, and food always go together, like some magnificent trifecta?

We had both sides of our family over today -- somewhat unexpectedly -- for a day-before-Easter get together. Joanna cooked up some local lamb and we broke bread together, with all proper attention on Chase and his older cousins James and Estelle. It will be Estelle's birthday in just a few days, so we even called the event a semi-birthday party.

The weather cooperated in an unbelievable way, and we ate out on the deck, in warmth and sunlight that was more typical of the Fourth of July than Easter. Is this Maine?

To be honest, I'm not much for mythical resurrections or magical bunnies, so the family meal was certainly the highlight of this holiday for me. Come to think of it, my appreciation for almost every holiday is grounded less in its historical, cultural, or religious significance and more in the way it brings people together -- usually around great food.

My mother brought an upside down pineapple cake for dessert, but it turned out to not quite be cooked all the way through. This is an unusual error for mom, who, while not so interested in cooking the main course, is quite a talented dessert and sweet maker. We put the cake in the oven here and it came out, just as everyone was ready to leave, cooked to perfection. Fortunately, she left it behind, and it's calling my name as I write this.

To balance the equation, I handed off five Christmas cookie tins to mom that we discovered in The Great Christmas Downsize. Mom is renown for both her Christmas cookies and chocolates, so she accepted the tins enthusiastically. They shall surely be stuffed with handmade goodies and given out next December

I'm willing to bet one will come back to me... full.

That's a holiday miracle I can believe in.

Losing streak

4/2/10 Little pile of junk, trashed

April is not starting well.

Yesterday I got stood up for my sheetrock downsize.

Today was even more frustrating. Just when I thought the Great Couch Downsize Quest (more on that in a future post) was coming to an end, it drags on. Needless to say, the couch is still in the guest room, and I was left to scramble for a late-day downsize.

Perhaps the result was pathetic. A few random things from the basement, thrown in the trash. I take two positives from this, however.

1) Although the basement remains totally jammed with stuff, I've really culled almost all of the total crap. There's a lot left to get rid of, but at least it's not junk so pathetic that it belongs in the landfill. The trash-flow out of the basement has slowed to a tiny drip.

2) While I didn't get rid of much tonight, I did spend over two hours down in the basement getting it further organized. That could only be good.

I do trust, however, that the rest of April will not follow this 0-2 pattern. The sheetrock and that couch will go this month, mark my words.

A hole lotta clothes

4/1/10 Shirt, underwear, and socks, trashed

After yesterday's evening of desperation, I was looking forward to today, as I usher in Month #9 of the Downsizing Challenge (no foolin').

A bit of planning had me set up to complete one of the biggest, in terms of size, downsizes to date. It was also going to take me another big step towards clearing the dreaded basement. I'd lined up someone who wanted to buy several panels of sheetrock that have clogged up my basement for years. With no more significant interior renovations in the plans, I was ready to jettison them.

After school, I drove 60MPH down back roads to get home by the agreed-upon time. And then, the dude didn't show.

The best laid plans...

However, I did have a back-up plan in my back pocket. For the last several weeks, I've been paying attention to whether the clothes I put on had holes in them. Any time I wore something with a hole, I dropped it on the floor of my closet rather than in the hamper when I took it off. It's not the first time I've tossed hole-y stuff, but now I'm pretty sure I've culled out every item of torn clothing.

Left hanging by sheetrock man, I grabbed those clothes out of the closet and tossed them in the trash.

Not one stitch of clothing with a hole in it?!? I feel like I should now be on the cover of GQ.

At the very least, I bet I look better than the guy who stood me up on the sheetrock.