Unpatriotic

9/14/09 2008 & 2009 Portland Sea Dogs game programs, recycled

Got home after a long day and was ready to just mail it in, so to speak. With the graduate class I'm teaching scheduled for Monday nights, it's likely that my early week downsizes will be a bit lame from time to time.

I hadn't decided what to get rid of when I turned on Monday Night Football to watch the New England Patriots' season opener. I admit I have way too much sports memorabilia, much of it in the form of newspaper clippings and random articles. Thus, I thought I'd found the solution when I said to myself, "I'll go dig out some old Kennebec Journal with the Patriots on page 3 and toss it."

After fifteen minutes of searching, I am embarrassed at my utter disrespect for the Pats. Apparently, I have somehow been terribly lax in collecting Patriots news. Oh, I have several Sports Illustrated magazines with Patriot stories, but that's about it. Where are the papers from all those Super Bowls? Where's the love, Reed? Where's the love?

My head is hanging right now. I had to resort to tossing two Sea Dog yearbooks, a terribly weak substitute.

I would like to now use this platform to issue a public apology to owner Robert Kraft, all-around stud Tom Brady, and the entire Patriots organization. Just say the word, and I shall abandon the Downsizing Challenge and immediately set the new goal of acquiring one piece of Patriots paraphernalia every day for the next year.

But, you've got to break the news to Joanna.

When I'm not home.