Watered down

9/27/09 A bunch of worn out pool equipment (vacuum hose, head & skimmer attachment; torn leaf skimmer; two leaky inflatable pool loungers), trashed

As a child, I thought having a swimming pool would be just about the coolest thing ever.

Boy, was I wrong.

According to the Maine state government web site (do we trust them?), Maine has 6,000 lakes and ponds and a coastline that stretches 3,500 miles. (I also learned on the state's site that Maine's state fossil is Pertica quadrifaria. Heh, who knew?)

Access to recreational water is not in a problem here. There's water everywhere. Why build and maintain a pool when you can have the real stuff for free? To paraphrase the old saying about boats, a pool is a hole in the ground into which one pours money.

Add to that the wisdom in this old joke:

Did you know that Maine has two seasons? Winter and the 4th of July.

There just aren't that many days when I wake up and say to myself, "Ah, it's going to be eighty and sunny all day. Think I'll frolic in the pool."

Check out this graph of Portland temperatures. We have as many months where the average cold temperature is BELOW 20 degrees as we do months when the average high is over 70. This is not a tropical climate, folks.

And, finally, don't get me started on the sheer time and energy it takes to maintain a pool. If you compare the hours I spend in the pool with the hours I spend walking around it trying to keep the water clear, the recreational side of the equation would come up very short. VERY SHORT. The only upside of the maintenance work is that I am now an amateur plumber, electrician, and chemist.

So, to summarize:

1) Pools are expensive.
2) Pools are hard work.
3) Maine is second only to Siberia as the most foolish place to have a pool.
4) I have a pool.

Now, don't get me wrong, I like the water. I spent my childhood playing in Alamoosook Lake, my mom had me in swimming lessons for years, and in middle and high school I even swam competitively (well, not very competitively) for a YMCA team. But, when we eventually move from this wonderful home, I will not miss that pool one bit.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon and evening closing the pool for the winter. Could have done it a month ago, since nobody's been in since August, but I didn't have the requisite six hours to spare to get the job done earlier. This morning, I capped off the process by lugging some old pool stuff that we weren't using anymore to the dump.

I suppose I could have tried to give those things away on craigslist, but I wasn't up to the work. The pool sapped the life out of me.