Check mark

7/3/10 Four books of checks, shredded, then trashed

A new address means new checks, rendering our old ones worthless. And -- DANGER, DANGER! -- a threat to our identity.

Lacking a shredder, I needed to manually cut up all of our old checks, which proved to be not only a monotonous and time-consuming task, but also rather painful. By the end, my thumb was bruised from the scissors, and I was beginning to understand why a shredder is as essential to the modern family as iPads and minivans. If this downsize leads to upsizing, I'm going to be ticked, but sometimes it works that way.

Although I cut up the checks beyond all recognition, I made the decision to throw the million tiny pieces into the trash rather than the recycling bin, on the theory that it's even less likely that someone would dive into a trash bag to reconstruct checks.

Honestly, I did that final bit of "free insurance" because I didn't want any negative feedback from my good friend and frequent blog commenter CRM, aka "Frank." I know he would take me to task if I simply tossed the check pieces into the recycle bin, rather than slather them with coffee grounds and cat waste in our regular garbage.

Bad people are out there -- we must take every precaution against them!

So, if any of you, Dear Readers, would like a good shot at stealing my identify or passing off bad checks, here is your chance. Just be prepared with rubber gloves, a whole lot of tape, and about a year's worth of free time.