Minus Plus

7/6/10 Golf Plus section of Sports Illustrated, cancelled

About twenty years ago, Sports Illustrated made me an offer I couldn't refuse. At my command, the magazine would contain an additional section on golf (yes, I get a longer magazine than your average jock), and I would receive a few special Golf Issues each year, all for absolutely free. Who could say no?

I enjoy golf, although my lifestyle doesn't allow for much time on the links these days.

However, that Golf Plus section goes unread, for the most part, every week. And the special issues often head directly into the recycle bin. I've contemplated cancelling my Golf Plus Upgrade for years, long before official downsizing began. Thank goodness for this silly challenge; now things are getting done.

The insert is usually twelve to twenty-four pages long, and the special issues run about forty-eight pages. With fifty standard issues a year, I estimate I receive about 500 extra pieces of paper a year, most of which have pictures of men in funny pants and espouse the virtues of colonial bentgrass. Over the last twenty years, that works out to well over ten thousand pieces of pulp.

And I only thought I hurt trees when I sent golf balls flying directly into them.

When I spoke to the Sports Illustrated customer service representative today, she seemed a bit baffled that I would want the section to end.

"It is free," she explained.

"Yes, but I don't read it. I'd just as soon save the paper."

"Since it's free, perhaps you know someone else who would like to read it."

Look, I just want the freakin' section taken out!

I feel pretty good about this downsize. I've been a faithful SI subscriber for twenty-three years, and it's likely I'll keep getting it for another couple of decades. That's ten thousand sheets of paper I saved with a ten-minute phone call.

I consider that a hole in one.