The Anti-Downsizer

6/17/10 Small pile of toolbox miscellanea, trashed

We are spending some quality time with my grandmother in Ohio en route to Colorado.

This is her first chance to meet Chase, and it's a rare opportunity to spend time with one of my most beloved relatives in the whole world.

It also puts me up against the world's foremost anti-downsizer. Saying Nanna doesn't like to get rid of things is like saying BP might not have the oil spill under control.

Thus, I made it my project today to do a little Downsizing by proxy. It sure wasn't easy.

After multiple false starts, I finally corralled my grandmother into confronting a tabletop covered with tools, taken from a toolbox she had rooted around in earlier. I approached the project with resignation, realizing that she might not be willing to sacrifice a single rotten rubber band. In the end, she almost didn't.

The problem is that my grandmother feels that if something has some possible utility -- for ANYONE -- she must hang on to it. Here's an exchange that was repeated over and over between us:

Me: What is this for?

Nanna: Hmmm. I'm not sure.

Me: Oh, it's a magnetic nail holder. You use it to hold a nail so you don't hit your finder with the hammer.

Nanna: Really?

Me: Yes. But it's still sealed in the original bag. You never even opened it.

Nanna: Oh, that's fine. Someone will use that.

Me: Who?

Nanna: I don't know.

Me (guardedly): So... you want to keep it?

Nanna (incredulously): Well, yes!

And so it went. Unbelievably, by the end of the endeavor, we actually had a small collection of things she could bear to part with. Trust me, every single item was completely useless, but the idea of them being tossed into the trash would not sit with her.

And this is why I can count it as my own downsize. Ultimately, I had to take possession of the unwanted items, assuring my grandmother that I would find proper homes for them all. And I did.

Since they were mine, I chose to toss them into the garbage. I just needed to do it rather secretively.

Trust me, it was for her own good.