1/19/10 "Peaceful Warrior" Philadelphia Marathon shirt & number, trashedFour days into parenting and I'm learning so much.
Some of the lessons aren't fun.
I'm learning that scary things happen, and my perspective on what's important in my world can come into sharp focus. With this guy in my life, it's pretty easy to see how insignificant most of my other possessions are. I had a moment tonight, probably like moments I'll have countless time in the future, when I would have downsized everything -- ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING -- to know that my child was going to be okay.
He is going to be okay, of course. We were told by many experienced parents that our first few days alone at home with our child would be rough, and that has turned out to be true. But, I think we're starting to get our footing and, every so slowly, to build our confidence.
I had a few random downsize ideas in mind for today, but nothing notable. After several hours of parental worry this evening, however, I realized I needed to make a statement to myself. I needed to take something I used to think was important, really important, and trash it, just to celebrate the joy of having true priorities.
In the fall of 2000 I ran the Philadelphia Marathon in 3 hours, 30 minutes. I was exceedingly proud of that accomplishment, and I'm still not above boasting about it. During the run, I wore a t-shirt on which I had written "The Peaceful Warrior." That had been my trail name when hiking the Appalachian Trail in 1999, and I wanted some of my trail toughness to help me grit out the race.
For the record, if you ever run a marathon, definitely wear a t-shirt with your name or nickname on it. It's highly motivating to have random strangers calling out, "Go, Peaceful Warrior! Lookin' good! You can do it!" for twenty-six miles.
I've kept that shirt, with my marathon number pinned on it, hanging neatly on a hanger ever since. It's been a reminder and a symbol of pride. It stood for what I can accomplish and the type of person I want to be.
And, in the end, that shirt just isn't that important.
I've got my own Peaceful Warrior by my side, now. He's eight pounds of pure love, and I'd gladly give everything else I own up for him.
And when Chase is ready to idolize his Dad and revisit those Marathon Memories, just consult wife and I; we watched him do it!
ReplyDelete(That said, however, am I the only Downsizing reader who gets panicky about these vague allusions to "scary things" happening and "not fun" lessons learned?)
No worries, CRM. All's well that ends well, as long as I'm writing in the past tense.
ReplyDeleteI like the T-shirt as a vehicle to measure his size, however. Put it on him for each birthday, you know? Like the little hatch marks on the while to chart his growth, this would be him (almost) filling your shoe :)
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